


Something I Need

by Star_Gazing_Knight



Series: If I Lose Myself [1]
Category: Until Dawn (Video Game)
Genre: Butterflies, Chris does not die, Chris gets hurt, Chris gets hurt alot, Chris is a sweet baby, Death, M/M, Makkapitew!Josh, Mentions of Suicide, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Prophetic Visions, Scenting, Somebody Lives/Not Everyone Dies, The Stranger still died, Totems, Triggers, Wendigo!Josh, Wendigos are pack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-12
Updated: 2016-05-19
Packaged: 2018-05-19 20:50:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 33,875
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5980587
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Star_Gazing_Knight/pseuds/Star_Gazing_Knight
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Chris didn't expect that Josh was still alive when he went back to Mt. Washington.  After all, Mike had said that he was killed by the Wendigos.  He didn't expect that he'd be alive for very long either, all things considered.  </p><p>Now, he needed to figure out how to stay alive, as he dealt with the stress of what had become his life.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chris

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first Climbing Class fic, as well as my first fic on AO3. This is not my first fic in general. I have finished this fic, and I plan to post weekly. Some chapters will be short, some will be long. I hope you all enjoy this fic as much as I have writing it.

Ever since he was young, he’d known about Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.  How could he not when all he could hear was people echoing those words as they passed him, whispering them into ears, and looking at him with such pity in their eyes.  “He was a good man,” they’d all say.  Somehow, even at a young age, he knew enough to doubt that.  Good men would not leave their family; the surprisingly bitter thought would invade his thoughts.  Even as he sat in the soft plush chairs watching his mother accept the folded flag, tears streaming down her face as the last cry of the bugle fell silent.  He’d been too young, people had said, to understand what had happened.  He understood perfectly.

They didn’t move.  His mother had no desire to move.  After all, if they moved, how would his father locate them?  He wondered, sometimes, if his mother was the one who didn’t understand.  It took him a while to understand the effects of the disorder, however, he had the most interactive learning experience ever.  After all, he learned each time he had to turn his few friends away, telling them he was sick because his mother would burst into tears at the thought of him being away.  He learned with every bottle he watched disappear from the fridge, and every phone call, letter and family friend his mother turned away.  For a short while, he’d had to stay with his uncle, out in the country, and returned only about a week before school started.  He’d been told his mother was better, but really, she was just better at hiding it. 

Part of him had wondered if this was his father’s last ‘gift’ to the family.  An equally bitter part of him wondered what right his mother had to when he was the one who had… He tried not to think about that day, actually, even when he was older and on the cusp of adulthood.  He had refused to speak about it, not to his mother, or his uncle, or the therapist his uncle had bullied his mother into sending him to.  He buried it deep under his bitterness and anger, hiding that under sarcasm and aloofness, and hiding that under humor and amusement.  He hid everything under silence when the family brought it up, or when he came home to his mother’s tear stained face and empty bottles. 

Friends, once he’d remade some, were easier to deal with than family—the people who’d talk in whispers, passing around pitying looks whenever someone would even mention their names.  “Oh?  My father?  He never made it home, KIA, you know?”  As a teen and an adult, He’d lie through his teeth, and accept the quiet condolences that followed.  He’d shrug those condolences off, ignoring how toxic they felt to hear considering that he knew the truth.  “Oh, don’t be sorry… It happened a long time ago.” 

But not long ago enough for his mother to recover, even as he recovered enough to stop attending therapy.  She kept sinking deeper and deeper into her own hole of denial.  She kept a room in the back of the house.  The room his father had used when he was concerned about keeping her awake at night.  It was full of photobooks, which were full of photos, especially those of his childhood.  After all, when his father came home, he’d want to see all these memories of his little boy’s childhood, especially since he hadn’t been there in person.  He’d watch his mother from the doorframe as she’d fill up the books, or as she’d sob on the neatly made uniform laying on the bed.  As he grew older, he stopped watching her, instead just opting to close the door to give his mother the privacy she’d want.  He’d shut the door, but never open it.  No, he’d never open that door.  

As a child, his therapist told his mother that he suffered from PTSD himself.  He’d overheard the conversation between his therapist, and mother.  Had watched as his mother had broken into tears, almost feeling like he wasn’t actually there, watching this.  He felt disjointed, separated from the world, like he was just watching it pass by, learning as he went.  “The traumatic experience of finding his father…” He’d pulled back at those words, feeling betrayed by himself as he was pulled back to the day.  The creak of the wood as the rope swung in a slow circle like a pendulum around the overturned chair echoing in his ears, the image burned into his eyelids. 

He’d closed himself off to most people, choosing to throw himself into school, into some sort of escape for the guilt.  The guilt that he hadn’t been the son that his father had wanted.  Hadn’t been enough to keep his father alive, and present with his family.  The guilt that he hadn’t been able to keep his mother safe, and sane.  The guilt that he was just as messed up as the rest of his family. 

He was familiar with guilt.  One could say they were close friends.  Even closer than his first real friend.  He’d been sitting in the front of the classroom, trying to prove that he was worth the pity the school had shown his mother when they let him in.  Trying to throw himself into studies and school, and then some idiot in the back of the room was picking on a female with a training bra.  Boom, butterfly effect.  Next thing he knew, he was sitting next to a kid with too big green eyes that gleamed in the florescent lights and a big toothy grin.  “Thank heavens, I was afraid I wasn’t gonna learn a thing with that idiot distracting me!”  The boy with green eyes laughed, and shook his head.  For the first time since before the incident, he smiled.  “I’m Josh!”

As a teen, he’d discovered the joys of the digital age.  Phones were his poison of choice.  His mother might have preferred to forget through the use of alcohol, but him?  He preferred to lose himself to the small digital screen in his hands.  Interacting too difficult?  No problem.  All he had to do was go find Josh, gently bump his shoulder against his, pull out his phone and launch his latest app of choice.  Josh would let him know if he was needed, or if someone asked a question, or if there was something going on that he needed to be present- both physically and mentally- for. 

Sometimes, he thought Josh knew what was going on.  He’d look up from his phone occasionally to see Josh shooting him fugitive looks.  He knew that Josh had walked into his house to see one of his mother’s episodes, at least once, and had overheard some of those episodes over the phone more times than he was comfortable with.  He’d explained some of it away, keeping as close to the truth as he could manage while still clinging to his own security blanket of a lie.  “She… doesn’t believe my father is KIA.”  The look Josh gave him told him that Josh thought the excuse was bull, but Josh never called him out on it.  Nor did Josh hold it against him when he’d call out of activities because his mother wouldn’t be able to handle his absence. 

Now, years later, he thinks he finally truly understands PTSD, even as he makes amends with his old friend, guilt.  He thinks he can understand what his father went through, and the choices that had been made.  How could he not understand when everytime he passed by his ‘father’s room’ he thought about the rope that was wrapped up in the drawer in the desk, or the multitude of guns and weapons that were displayed on the wall, the boxes of ammo under the bed.  His mother had caught him looking at one, his father’s old pistol, and had promptly fallen into a fit of tears. 

The wooden floor of his childhood home haunted him, reminded him with every step of the lodge.  He felt like he couldn’t escape it.  Escape the creatures lurking in his mind and the mountain.  He’d lay in his bed, holding absolutely still.  He couldn’t sleep until the first ray of light shined through his window, casting light into the shadows of his room, chasing the creatures under his bed and into his closet.  They only hunted at night, and they couldn’t see him if he stayed absolutely still.  It was only safe to sleep during the day when they crawled away, under his bed, into his closet, deep into the mines and caverns and broken down sheds where he’d left his best friend.  During the night they’d scream into his face, trying to get him to move, to react, to make a single noise so they could find him and rip him into shreds, their sharp claws finding purchase in the softness of his organs, cracking and breaking his bones.  It was the worst when they’d imitate Josh’s voice, like they had imitated Jessica’s in the mines.  Those were always the hardest nights, the nights where he’d leave once morning hit and go to that room and stare at his options and wonder if he had the guts to make the choice his father had.

His mother had barely survived the first time, when he’d come back from the mountain.  But she’d endured.  The first, the second, the third… and so on and so on, until she no longer cried when he left for winter break because she knew that Josh would bring him back.  It’d taken Hannah and Beth going missing for her to break back down, sobbing into his arms, as he bitterly wished it was the other way around.  The second time, had gone exactly the same as the year before; only this time, he was taken to a therapist.  Although, the shining moment came when his therapist once again informed his mother that he was suffering from PTSD, she didn’t break down as she had before, just had nodded and let a few tears slip down her defined cheek.  She’d started off asking about treatment options and he had to look away again, except, it wasn’t because of the memories but because he thought he saw a shadow on the ceiling move, beside the fact it was daytime.  His only restriction on the therapy sessions was that there were no evening sessions.

“Tell me what’s on your mind today, Christopher.”  Despite his only restriction being no evening sessions, it didn’t mean he was entirely open to the idea.  Therapy hadn’t helped him when he was younger, hadn’t helped his mother, or his father, or… Josh.  So every session he’d purse his lips, and look down at his hands.  He wished he had a phone, but it wasn’t allowed.  Something about it being a security blanket for him.  But no, the security blanket was his lie and Josh.  Josh who had looked after him, even though it was Josh who actually needed someone looking after him. 

“Tell me about your friends, Christopher.”  He curled his fists, thinking first of Mike, and the punch he’d given him when he’d learned that Mike had been the one who had left Josh in the mines.  Sam had left them both, and then Mike had left Josh.  And Josh… Josh was on his own, in the mines that had murdered his sisters.  In the mines where nightmares were very real and longed for nothing more than to rip the flesh off his bones.  The mines that Emily, of all people, had escaped.  That Jessica, poor broken Jessica, had escaped from.  That Matt had escaped from.  Yet Mike had only been able to save himself.  He was half the man that Matt was, who had been able to rescue Jessica besides himself.  Had escaped the same monster that Mike had escaped from.  No, he didn’t want to talk about his friends.  He didn’t want to think about them.  It was bad enough that Ashley stopped by once a day to talk with him, and to keep him updated on his friends since he refused to answer their texts or calls. 

He'd lost contact with most of his friends like the teams that the Washingtons had hired to find Josh’s body in the mines had lost contact with the world.  The first team, and the second team.  The third team hadn’t lost contact, had returned with reports of nothing.  He doubted that they had actually gone into the mines at all.  After all, one didn’t simply walk into the mines of that mountain and return unscathed.  The fact that the first two teams had all but vanished told him that the monsters were still there.  Those monsters were still up there, and Josh was still up there, and he had left Josh to them.

He owed the Washingtons for keeping him in the loop about the search for his friend, but even still, he hated them for it.  Hated them because they made it so much easier for him to hate himself. 

He hated that he was a coward.  He hated that he couldn’t go back to the mountain and find his friend.  That he couldn’t be the friend that Josh had been to him. It’d been the third report that had finally tipped the scales.  He couldn’t do this anymore.  His hands shook as he put the notice and letter back down on the table.  His mind raced.  He could take after his father… there was still rope in the room.  He shook his head, no, that wasn’t punishment enough.  Using one of his father’s weapons wasn’t an option either.  No, he’d take bits and pieces.  His father’s choice.  His mother’s poison.  Josh’s final resting place.  It was him, in the mines, with the bottle of whiskey.  It was perfect. 

His friends would miss him, but they’d gotten over Hannah, Beth and Josh’s deaths so well, he was sure they would manage to get over his just as quickly.  His mother… he worried about.  But Sam and Ashley would take care of her, and if they were to fail, his father’s brother would.  He nodded to himself, took a deep breath and grabbed his car keys, heading out the door.  He felt like he was sitting in the driver’s seat for hours before he finally started the car and pulled out towards the bus station. 

It took far too long for him to get to the mountain.  He was certain that by now his mother was calling his friends, trying to locate where he was.  Too bad he was already over the border, and he was legally an adult.  There was nothing she could do.  Still, the trip allowed him his thoughts.  He’d at least had the foresight to bring along some cash, enough to buy a few bottles of Josh’s favorite whiskey.  He’d smuggled them into the bus in his jackets and layers, and getting off the bus, was a nervous breakdown waiting to happen.

The first bottle of whiskey warmed his body as he stared up at the gate that read “Blackwood Pines.”  The bus had left hours ago, and really, he was past the stage of having second thoughts.  His phone had already been silenced, and had been left on the bus, so he wouldn’t have a chance to be a coward.  That’d keep people off his trail long enough for him to do what had to be done.  He took another swig of liquid courage, and then finally started up the path that led to the cable car station.  The snow down by the road had been ruined.  Ruined by footprints of dogs and men as they searched for Josh.  Ruined by police and his friends.  Now it was being ruined by his own footsteps as he traced the path to the station.  He felt like he was being pulled forward, his strings being tugged up onto the mountain. 

He stopped at the station door, frowning at it.  Josh had asked for them to keep the door locked.  How was he going to get up there if the door was locked?  He pursed his lips, and tried the door anyways.  The knob turned easily under his hand, and he wanted to scream at it.  Josh had wanted the door locked!  He slammed the door shut as he entered, and locked it.  He’d come up to the mountain enough times to know how to start the cable car, and within no time, he was finishing up his bottle, lazing out on the bench of the car as it brought him closer and closer to Josh. 

He was pretty sure most of the bottle ended up on the floor of the car, but he ignored that, and instead exited the car.  All around him was evidence of Josh’s prank.  The ruined station was a nice touch, he had to admit.  He spun around, splashing alcohol on the floor, ignoring the soft clink of the bottle when it hit the ground, spilling out.  The liquid spread over the floor, falling off the edge into the depths below.  Much like his sobriety.  Maybe his mother was onto something when she’d chosen her poison of choice.  He watched it drip down into the abyss below.  Where ever Josh’s body was, perhaps the alcohol was finding it.  It was Josh’s favorite brand, after all.  He started laughing, and kept laughing and laughing until his laughter turned to sobs. 

He’d come up here for a reason, a very specific reason.  To find closure.  His own special little salvation in his own destruction.  He needed to find Josh.  _Coward_ , his mind hissed at him. He wouldn’t come up here without getting shit faced drunk first.  He was too scared to find the truth.  But that wasn’t true.  He didn’t want to find Josh, he wanted to suffer.  He wanted to stumble around in the darkness.  He wanted the creatures to end him, like they had ended Josh.  It was what he deserved.  For trusting Mike, for not going back for his best friend.  He deserved to be dragged into the mines, to be ripped apart by the monsters.  He’d rather be torn apart out here anyways, where no one could find him, than in his house, where his father’s monsters had torn his family to pieces. 

He had always been told that he looked like his father.  Guess the apple truly did not fall far from the tree.  He sob laughed as he spun around, and put his hands on the railing, looking out at the endless landscape of the mountain range.  What a beautiful place to die.  He laughed again, spinning around as he pushed away from the rail, stumbling over to the door and out of the station, falling into the icy snow.  The cold seeped in through his layers, and cooled the fire of the whiskey within.  He laid there for a few moments, the memory of Josh joking about him making snow angels with Ashley randomly appearing in his head.  He’d been a coward then too.  He had agreed, but really, he’d been too much of a coward to tell Josh that he’d rather make snow angels with Josh instead.

It was too late now.  Josh was gone, gone, gone.  He was gone long before.  His bright green eyes were too glassy and wise as he asked if they were ordering pizza.  His chest felt tight and he sat up, suddenly feeling far too sober.  He stumbled back to the station, into the cable car where he’d left the bottles.  He opened up on, grabbing another for the journey and stumbled back out.  Somewhere in the distance, he could hear the unmistakable screech of one of those creatures.  “Come get me!”  He screamed back, taking another long swig of the drink.  He grinned, and looked up at the starry sky above.  “Hey Josh… I think I’m doing something that I would regret if you were here.”   The world was spinning when he finally looked back down at the trail, and then he opted to take a step off the trail.  And then another, and another, and another until the trail was far behind him.  He wasn’t going to the ruined remains of the lodge.  No, he was just going to keep walking until the whiskey wore off, the sun rose, he fell off the side of the mountain or the Wendigos dragged him off into the mines. 

Despite everything he’d been thinking, the fall was still a shock.  One moment his foot was on solid ground, the next, his foot was hitting thin air.  His breath was torn from his chest as his stomach jumped up to replace it.  He gasped as hit a surface, feeling his arm protest as he rolled over off of it and finding himself falling yet again, sliding down a slippery icy slope.  His hands tried to claw the icy rock for purchase, but all he succeeded in was falling over more rock, and then there was a sharp sudden pain to his head and then nothing. 


	2. Chris

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Previously on "Something I Need", Drunk!Guilty!Chris became Drunk!Guilty!Suicidal!Chris, who decided to go back to the mountain to die since he was a "failure". He proves himself right by failing to kill himself and instead ends up falling into a hole in the ground.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Given concerns from Readers, I have found myself a Beta. She doesn't have an AO3 account, but she did go over this chapter a few times before allowing me to post it. Hopefully this fixes any 'unreadable' paragraphs.

Chris didn’t know where he was.  He’d thought… he’d thought he was on the mountain.  Someplace in the mines, since he could faintly recall the sensation of falling.  Looking around, he didn’t think that was where he was.  As a matter of fact, he couldn’t recall how he even got to where he was.  Was he even still on the mountain?  He didn’t think there’d be a clearing full of flowers on the mountain.  Perhaps during summer or spring, but during winter?  No, it didn’t make sense. 

The trees surrounding the boarder of the clearing were all leaning inwards, as if trying to capture whatever was inside and trapping it like a canary cage.  The moon was above him, bathing his surroundings in faint moonlight, and the stars… the stars were even brighter than the moon.  Spinning around, all he could see was trees and wilderness, perhaps going for miles and miles.  The flowers carpeting the ground were beautiful, albeit strange, with colors: red, white, yellow, brown and black.  The petals fluttered ever so softly in the nonexistent breeze.  Then how…? 

He took a step forward, and suddenly the flowers were in the sky, circling around him. Butterflies.  Not flowers, but butterflies.  He held up his hand, extending out his finger.  A small gasp escaping from his lips as a beautiful butterfly landed on his fingers, it’s wings flashing the various colors before settling on bright yellow. 

He was pulled into it, falling into a swirl of yellow and then suddenly-- “Sam?!” A man’s voice echoed from the yellow which was fading and twisting into the mines.  He was facing a fork in the tunnel, the man’s voice coming from one direction.  At his back, he could feel something behind him.  Something very dangerous, watching him.  His heart was pumping, his heartbeat pounding in his ears. 

“Sam?!”  The man’s voice echoed again, and Chris turned down the fork where he heard the man call for his friend again.  He ran down that direction, stumbling in the dark and falling, reaching out for the flash of red wings before him, and just like with the yellow, found himself sucked into a whirlwind of red. 

“Butterflies carry dreams and prophecies of possible futures, according to some legends around this mountain.”  He jerked away from the butterfly, watching the darkness melt into the wooden lodge that the Washingtons owned.  Hannah was leaning against one the many tables littering the lodge, smiling widely at him.  She pushed herself off the table, and started to walk towards him. 

“But this… this is just plain truth.  Josh is with me now.  He’s with his family.  You can be with us too, Chris.  Nothing would make Josh happier.”  As she walked closer, the walls melted into slate gray before finally becoming the mines again.  Like their surroundings, Hannah seemed to change before Chris’ very eyes.  Her flesh decaying and turning gray, pulling taut across her body as she grew taller and thinner.  Part of him was fascinated that her tattoo—a black butterfly—hadn’t changed even as her skin stretched and sagged.  Her eyes became milky white and finally, at the end of her speech, she was standing before him, and she opened her mouth, revealing a row of needle sharp teeth. 

She screeched in his face, and he blinked, only to be faced with a different Wendigo, but still a Wendigo, and he just forced himself to remain so very, very still because if he was still, they couldn’t see him, couldn’t find him. 

The Wendigo screeched again and he stumbled back.  He felt like he couldn’t breath as thick red bubbled up in his mouth, coating his tongue and making it so all he could taste was iron and copper and death.  He looked down, red spilling out of his mouth and onto the arm that was embedded in the soft tissues of his gut.  He was choking, drowning in his own blood before darkness finally overtook him. 

He rolled over onto his side, bile pushing it way past his lips and onto the cold stone floor.  His heart was racing like he’d just ran a marathon, and his head was killing him.  What on earth had he and Josh been up to last night?  He couldn’t think of the last time they got themselves this drunk.  The last time had been… Had been the night Hannah and Beth vanished.  He groaned as he felt a hand up to his head, and cursed as sharp shooting pains from his arm replied. 

“Fuck.”  He’d been drinking… and had… fallen?  Yeah, fallen down inside the fucking mountain.  Where he’d had some weird fucked up dream about butterflies, of them choosing him and then some weird fucked up nightmare about Hannah and the Wendigos where he’d died. 

He idly wondered what his therapist would say about that.  His latest therapist loved going on and on about dreams and how they were reflections of people’s current state of mind. What did such a messed up dream mean about his mental state?  Never mind the fact that he’d come here to die.  Now that he’d seen it in his dream, he didn’t exactly want to die.  He didn’t think he had much of a choice in that matter anymore. 

The simple facts of the matter were that: he was alone, he had no phone, no one knew where he was, he was probably still drunk, and he’d fallen into the mines.  The same mines that housed intelligent man-eating creatures that were going to be bound and determined to tear him into shreds and chew on his bones.  The same mines he’d left Josh to die in.

  
That last thought had his guilt tearing at him from within again.  Which was worse, he wondered, to be torn apart physically by a brutal creature or to be torn apart mentally by his own guilt?

He scooted over towards the wall, where he’d fallen --as best he could with one arm-- to examine his arm in the light that shined down.  For all intents and purposes, his arm looked fine, but the discoloration and slight swelling told him that he’d likely broken a bone.  He didn’t think he could climb back up. There was no way his arm would allow it, not to mention he didn’t trust the way his stomach was turning and the way the world wouldn’t stop spinning and swirling.  He bit his lip to hold back a scream of pain at the jostling of his arm as he used the wall to help himself up.  His ankle throbbed, reminding him of the last time he took a fall out in these woods, and he mentally groaned at himself, kicking himself in the ass for coming back out here. 

A loud shriek echoed down the shaft, and Chris muttered out a soft curse, turning to head in the opposite direction.  The fall must have knocked some sense into him, forced the alcohol to take a second seat.  Or not, as he stumbled, sliding down another incline.  A scream tore itself out his throat as he landed on his knees, his arms automatically coming up to brace himself, and pain raced up his arm as a response. 

“Fuck!”  His arm couldn’t support his weight, at all, and he immediately collapsed, his face meeting the cold floor.  A part of him realized that his glasses should have been pressed into his face at this and weren’t, but the majority of him was screaming out in agony over his arm until he was able to get his weight off of it.  He shuffled over to the wall, forced himself to stand again, and kept moving. 

Chris couldn’t tell how long he stumbled around before finally coming to a pool of icy water.  A watermill was still operational, slowly spinning as the water flowed through it.  It was kind of funny that he’d ended up here, of all places.  He’d heard Mike and Sam’s tales about what happened and where.  This… This was where Mike had left his friend to die.  Had cowered behind a rock as Josh screamed for help and was dragged off and killed.  Still, he couldn’t get caught up in that. Even as his mind screamed at him, questioning what right he had to be there now when he couldn’t have been there then. 

He fell to his knees at the bank, using his good hand to scoop up water and drink.  A screech, louder than the others he’d heard thus far, echoed around him, and he closed his eyes and bit back the tears threatening to fall.  This… was it. 

He could feel it in his bones when the creature shrieked, bringing more than a few not so distance memories to mind.  These were the shrieks that had haunted his dreams, his every waking moment at night.  The Wendigo that had unleashed them was close, he just knew it, and he was hit was the sudden realization that he didn’t want to die but it was too late for that. 

It all happened so quick. He felt now what he had felt when he had witnessed the stranger being decapitated before his eyes, stunned.  He felt clawed hands grab at his neck, the pinpricks of pain from the points of the claws digging into his flesh imprinting on his mind as he felt his body being lifted.  There was a sudden moment of weightlessness as he was flung across the cavern. Sliding against the ground, he screamed from the pain as he landed on his arm and tumbled.  Within seconds the Wendigo was back, pressing him up against the wall and tightening its hold on his neck so much that he couldn’t breathe. It screamed into his face, its rancid breath stinging his nose. 

He opened his eyes against his will.  He didn’t want to see the creature that was going to end his life, but it was something like a train accident.  He couldn’t help but to look.  For a brief second, he wished he had kept his eyes closed.  He supposed this was fitting, in some sort of strange twist of karma or irony.  Some part of him had even already acknowledged this as a possibility.  That if the Wendigos hadn’t gotten to Josh; if Josh hadn’t died like Mike said he had…

“J…J… Josssh,” The name escaped from his mouth unbidden, fighting to escape through choked breaths.  Black spots danced in his vision, but nothing could obscure the sight before him; of Josh’s partially milky white eyes where only a slight hint of green remained.  Of Josh’s mouth, and those teeth on his left side.  He didn’t want to see any more, yet even as he managed to close his eyes, the image remained in his mind, as if it’d been imprinted onto him. 

The creature – Josh, oh god, Josh, he was so sorry—pressed up against him, and he could feel it’s breath on his skin, so close to his face and neck and everything that was vital.  This was it.  He’d get to feel Josh’s clawed hands separate his head from his body, or perhaps Josh’s new teeth would tear out his throat. 

One moment passed.  Two moments passed.  Three moments.  The claw on his neck had loosened its grip, allowing him to take in shallow, but greedy, breaths of air.  He opened his eyes, wondering why the creature had stopped, why it hadn’t torn into him yet. 

The crea—Josh, this was Josh, and no amount of desensitizing would change that. Josh had moved back, his head tilted ever so slightly as a soft noise escaped him.  Chris cried out as he was dropped, landing on his arm—why was it always that arm lately— and looked up at Josh, who let out a noise before jumping up onto the wall he’d just been holding Chris up to and literally Spiderman-ing away. 

“Oh fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.”  Chris muttered inner between gasps.  “Not cool, man!”  Part of him yelled that it was not a good idea to shout at Josh, seeing he could jump back down and rip him to shreds as easily as he had dropped him; another part of him wondered why Josh had let him go. 

He shook his head, and forced himself to ignore the shrieks – which ones were Josh’s? — that echoed in the cavern.  He bit his lip in an attempt to distract himself from the pain of his arm. Unsure of what to do next, he closed his eyes as he tried to hear past his racing heart, to see where the water source was.  First things first: he would try to wash out the wounds and maybe try to drink some water as his throat burned with every breath he took.  Thinking he located the pool by sound, he crawled over to the water’s edge, and forced himself to drink something.  He needed to sober up --as if the pain he’d been feeling wasn’t doing a good enough job. 

The icy water was heaven sent, especially to his sore throat.  He was pretty sure Josh was going to leave him here, like how he had left Josh here.  Regardless, he figured he had made his bed, it was up to him to lay in it.  He cupped the water the best he could with one hand, and cleaned up as many scratches and scrapes as he could manage. 

Finally finished, he leaned against the largest rock closest to him, and sighed,  “I’m sorry, Josh.”  There was absolutely no response to his words.  Not even a screech of acknowledgement.  “We… I… I fucked up.  I’m sorry.  So fucking sorry.  I… I didn’t know.” 

That was the root of the problem, wasn’t it?  He didn’t-- hadn’t known.  Best friends since third grade and he hadn’t known.  Not about Josh’s problems.  Not about the emotions tearing his best friend apart.  Out of everyone who should have known, he hadn’t.  He was such a failure, first as being a son for both his mother and his father, then as a best friend to Josh --at having seen him deteriorate after his sister’s deaths and doing nothing, and now he was one for not even getting himself killed properly, for not even wanting to die after all.  He was a failure and a coward. 

The black spots were still dancing in his vision and he felt so cold, so tired, and so done with the day.  He’d gotten drunk, fallen into a mine infested with man-eating monsters, found out his best friend had become one of said monsters, and was now stuck in the mines with a broken arm and more injuries than he felt like taking stock of.  Not to mention how mind numbingly cold it was.  Considering he hadn’t expected to be staying on the mountain, he hadn’t exactly dressed for the weather, something he was now heavily regretting. 

The stress of the day was just too much and he felt the dam holding back his feelings just snap as a sob finally released itself.  He wanted to curl up, rock himself in the fetal position, and just cry.  Well, not entirely true.  He actually wanted to curl up in the fetal position next to Josh, or his mom, or hell… his father, not that any of that was going to happen anytime soon.  One was a murderous monster with a horrible sense of karma and irony, the other was a broken shell and hadn’t been a true mother since his father… and the less he said about why he couldn’t curl up next to his father, the better. 

He would have curled up now, but he wasn’t sure how his arm would take that though.  Instead he sucked in a shuddering breath, closed his eyes, and wished that everything would just magically get better as tears streamed down his face. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you guys have any questions, or just want to talk, don't hesitate to shoot an ask on the blog for this series! You can find it at http://stargazingknight.tumblr.com/ .


	3. Josh

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Previously: Chris found Josh. Josh tried to kill Chris, but decided not to. Chris freaked out some and got hurt some more as well.

Josh tilted his head as he watched the human from his perch atop one of the higher ledges, which was well out of sight. The others had told him that his sight would be changing and, although he could see movement the way the others did, his sight seemed to remain the same. They tended to avoid him anyway, unless he actively looked for them.

The human had let out a sob, seemingly trying to curl up in to himself, perhaps to make himself smaller to appear less appealing to him? If the human was attempting to hide, the loud noises it made all but cancelled that out. It’d been making noises earlier, noises that had meanings, he knew. Of those noises, a few had caught his attention; he knew that they were important and supposed to be for him.

That would make sense, since when the human had first spoken to him he'd understood: "Josh." That was the name his sisters had called him before they vanished, so it must have been speaking to him. It’d been… jarring to hear that name again, jarring enough to bring back up the humanity that he thought he’d left behind. 

Not to mention the human’s scent. This one didn’t smell like the others. He smelled like… something Josh had once known, one that he’d known for a very long time. It was buried under the scents of so many other things: ice, blood, pain, sorrow, and something that he was certain was... whiskey. He'd almost sneezed at the musk that was hiding beneath those, those that smelled of oceans, mountains, and clean clothes, like flopping into a bed. Yet underneath all of that was a prevailing scent of something metallic, not blood, but still brought to mind metal and heat. It was a heavy scent, warm and thick and it sizzled as it settled closely to the skin. It brought to mind warmth and friendship, and something else. Something that caused what little humanity was left in him to scream in protest, begging him not to hurt the human -- at least not more than he had already. 

The scent had sent him wheeling, spinning out of control as that tiny bit of humanity seemed to hit him full force. It didn’t matter that he was hungry, because he wouldn’t be eating this particular human. Any human but this one, and he’d be damned if any of the others attempted such an atrocity

The only problem was that humans were such needy creatures. They couldn’t hunt, couldn’t climb, couldn’t take care of themselves. The pitiful attempts of this one just trying to get some water had been hard to watch. He didn’t even want to witness the silly creature attempting to hunt, it’d be too painful and embarrassing. 

It’d been a while since the human had last moved or made a noise, so Josh clambered down and approached the human in a low crouch. He sniffed the human again and, again, the scent made him internally freak out. Well, that settled that. This was going to be his human, until such a time when he felt like eating the miserable creature. Still, this one was rather… stupid, wasn’t it? He circled around the human, examining the thin jacket and the way the it shook from the cool mine air. There was ice in his hair and all over him, which probably didn’t help any. The other humans had worn many jackets and layers, so he should still have their clothes near his nest. 

Actually, the nest was a great idea. He had a pile of furs from the animals he’d killed, plus the clothes that the other humans had left. That’d be plenty to keep his human warm, not to mention the others didn’t like going into his nest, especially after he’d attacked the last one who had attempted to do so. Now, how to get his human to his nest. 

Josh could drag him, but previous experiences told him that humans did not appreciate being dragged. He certainly didn’t think that his human would appreciate it, since he was sure that this one had lost consciousness. Perhaps he could be carried, he was much stronger than before. He could carry a whole elk down into the mine, while the others had to drag pieces or smaller prey. Certainly his human didn’t weigh more than an elk. 

It was always awkward to stand like a human, but it was something he could do. He reached down and, as carefully as he could manage with his claws, picked up his human, cradling him against his chest. Climbing would be difficult like this, so he would have to take the ground path to his nest. He moved carefully, checking every so often to make sure the human was not awake. A few of the others had approached, but retreated when he looked at them, although a few only did so once he growled lowly at them. He made a mental note to keep an eye on them. 

It took much longer to reach his nest than it usually did, due to him taking the more human route. Josh was tempted to just drop his human in the furs, but last time he did the creature had cried out. Perhaps this one was more fragile than others? He put the human down on the furs and half covered him to help keep in heat. Falling back into a crouch, he whined, not sure what to do next. The others fed their humans to keep them fresh longer as they feasted on the flesh, so he knew his human would need food. He had kept some meat in his nest, so his human wouldn’t go hungry, --at least not anytime soon—but he would need water though. He could wait to get water, however, since the human would probably want it fresh. 

Besides, the sun had risen not too long ago and it was time to sleep. Hunting and gathering could wait until tomorrow, when the moon’s light would replace the sun’s too bright rays. However, now Josh was left with another dilemma: the human was sleeping in his nest and, unless he shared the nest, couldn’t sleep there since the human didn’t know that Josh had decided to keep him. Given their prior experience, he didn’t see the human being too keen on the idea of sharing. On the other hand, it was his nest and two bodies would be warmer. Humans needed heat to live, didn’t they? They weren’t like him, or his kind, where the icy cold was just a mild discomfort. 

It didn’t matter anymore, anyways. It was his nest and humans needed warmth, that was enough. If his human was displeased by this, then he would just have to deal with it. Josh curled up under the furs, draping himself over the human. This way if the human woke, he’d wake as well. If the position happened to give him the perfect spot to bury his nose into the human’s collar and breath in the comforting scent, then that was just an extra bonus. 

He was wakened by tiny movements under him. For a moment, he wondered what he had dragged back to the nest before recalling what had happened. He let out a low growl, displeased at being woken, but the movements did not still. He opened his eyes and sat up, looking at the human and wondering what was bothering him. A small sheen of moisture was on his face, which had twisted into something unpleasant. Josh let out a small chirp of annoyance, to which the human finally responded. 

The human let out a groan, before blinking a few times. Josh backed off, as cautiously as he could without drawing attention to himself, and climbed up a ledge. He wanted to observe his human and see what he would do. Would he resume rocking himself and sobbing or would his curiosity win and explore the cavern? 

Josh was still mildly irritated at his human for waking him up, although his own curiosity was prevailing over his irritation. The tiny shafts of light that entered his cave showed that it was fairly dark out. It was still bright sunlight, but it was considerably darker out than it had been when he went to sleep. 

The human letting out another soft groan, grabbed Josh’s attention away from the light and towards him. The human’s hand reached up to his face and rubbed at his eyes before sitting up and furrowing his eyebrows. The human made some noises, which Josh recognized as mild distress. The distress seemed to grow as the human looked around, especially as he scrambled out of the nest, making more noises of distress anytime he used his right arm. Was the arm dysfunctional? That would have explained his human’s increased fragility. 

Josh had already heard his human say his name a few times, but he didn’t show himself. He enjoyed hearing the human say his name, but the distressed and slightly panicked tone was putting a slight damper on that enjoyment. The human, actually raising his voice this time, called out his name. Taking pity on him, Josh let out a loud chirp, then a trill when the human visibly jumped at his response. The human called out his name again and he jumped down from where he’d climbed up. The human was still making displeased noises at him, which was annoying, amusing, and a bit alarming. 

Why was the human so displeased? He’d kept the human warm, hadn’t he? He hadn’t hurt the human beyond the first encounter. There was nothing for the human to be displeased about. Josh approached the human, and trilled when he stepped away and ended up stumbling backwards, landing on his backside in the furs. The human had no choice but to stay still as he leaned over the human, invading his space. Relief flooded the human’s scent, as well as horror, sorrow and fear. The human had been looking all over, but with Josh this close to him, his gray eyes were focused on him. 

The human repeated his name, softer this time. Josh tilted his head, and chirped as a response. He spoke some, and Josh nodded his head, as if he could understand him, even though all he could recall was just his name and the occasional word. Without warning, the human wrapped one arm around him and sobbed into him. Awkwardly, he patted the human’s back, a heavily faded memory telling him that this was the best action to take. He chirped again, before letting out a soft rumble. Not a sound meant to scare, but to comfort. 

With the human hanging off of him like this, his scent filled Josh’s nose, bringing with it those strange feelings and faded memories of when he used to be human, just as most of his kind had once been. It just wasn’t something often thought about. However, Josh had known this one when he was still human. He could recall how the human would spray this musk over himself during hot months... and how he would smile at something Josh would say. 

What was it that he called him? Every human had a name, so what was this one’s? It was right there, he knew it. “I’m so sorry.” The human’s noises of distress were making more sense, as if the realization that he had been human at one point cleared the cobwebs in his mind that had prevented him from understanding the words. “Josh, I’m so fucking sorry.” 

He nuzzled his human, who tensed briefly at the movement, but didn’t stop with his apologies. His human who was sorry for him, despite being the helpless one. It still bothered Josh that he couldn’t recall his human’s name. Maybe it would come in time, but right now he had to ensure his human’s survival. He pushed the human away and back onto the nest. 

Josh chirped and backed away. When the human moved to follow, he let out a more displeased chirp and pushed him back into the nest. “Alright. I get it, stay.” Perhaps his human was intelligent after all. He nodded to himself and left the cave. As long as the human stayed in the nest, he should be fine. And if he came back and the human wasn’t fine, well… he’d deal with that if it happened. He hurried down to the watermill, pausing only to grab one of the old miner hats laying around to use to bring the water back. 

The human had messed when his nest when he returned, as well as put on some of the other human’s clothes. “I’m not sure I want to know where you got these, bro.” Josh chirped in response, and went to putting the furs that had appeared on the wrong side of the cave back in the nest. “No! No, its fine, Josh. Uh.. those need to be cleaned. Josh!” He dropped the fur, noting the tone that his human was using and figured that Chris wanted the furs cleaned, he was always more of a neat freak then him. 

Wait. What was it that he had just thought? Chris. He had referred to the human as Chris. He knew the human’s name would come in time! In his excitement over recalling the human’s name, he hadn’t noticed that Chris had spoken to him until he was looking at Josh and muttering to himself, “Should have known better than to expect a response.” 

He chirped, and kicked the furs that Chris had rejected back to the rejection pile. Josh opened his mouth, wanting to ask if the human needed anything besides the water he had yet to touch. Then shut it when he realized he wasn’t sure what to say, or how to speak at all. He opened and shut his mouth a few times, trying to get used to doing the action for something other than shrieking—which he’d been avoiding as to not scare Chris—or eating. 

“Uh.. not changing your mind about not eating me are you, bro?” He growled lowly at the question. Eat his Chris? Preposterous. “Is that a ‘no’? Please be a ‘no’.” He huffed at Chris and decided to go get him some food, since he was asking about eating. Besides, Josh was feeling rather hungry himself. 

He had some food hidden up on a ledge in his cave, so he scaled the wall to the spot, and tossed the meat back down. Chris let out a surprised yelp at the falling meat and he scampered back down… to see Chris staring at it. 

He picked up the meat, and offered it to Chris. “Dude… that’s a… ah…” Chris swallowed thickly and looked a bit green, like he didn’t want what Josh was offering. Perhaps his human didn’t know what to do with it? So he held the meat up to his mouth, ignoring Chris’ shocked cry, and tore a piece off before offering it back to Chris. 

“Uh, that’s… really thoughtful of you, buddy… but I’m good. I’m not hungry,” his human was lying to him, he could hear Chris’ stomach growl. 

Josh forced the meat into Chris’ hands, ignoring the litany of ‘no’s. Chris dropped the meat and shook his head, “No, Josh…. I … I can’t eat that.” 

Well, why the hell not? He could eat it, easy. OH! But he had sharp teeth and he had to remember that humans were needy. They didn’t have his teeth. Josh took the meat back, tore it into smaller pieces, then offered them to Chris while miming eating them. Chris shook his head and pursed his lips together, as if he was scared Josh would force the meat into him. 

If his human didn’t eat by tomorrow, he would force him to eat. However, he could understand Chris’ hesitance, after all, he was in a strange place. Maybe, Chris needed fresh meat? He supposed he could hunt down a rabbit or something small to test that theory. 

Nodding to himself, Josh ate the tiny pieces, then finished off the rest of the meat. Chris didn’t seem pleased about it, but he wasn’t going to starve himself because his human was being picky. “Josh…” He sounded so sad, but that was okay, he’d go and hunt something for his human soon. 

Josh pointed to the nest and then exited his cave, heading to the surface where he could hear the others hunting their own game. He shrieked upon exiting the mine and heard the others shriek in response. They were hunting large game and had cornered a herd of deer. They invited him to join, but he declined and instead went after the smaller, quicker prey of rabbits. He grabbed a few before departing back down to the mines and dropping his kills before Chris, who let out a soft noise at his arrival. 

“You aren’t going to shove those down my throat, are you?” Josh huffed at Chris’ question; he’d do it if Chris forced him to. 

“I’m taking that as a yes, if I don’t eat them,” his tone was sullen and a bit horrified, but resigned, “Right. Can you at least skin them first?” 

Chris had gestured down at the nest when speaking and Josh was able to piece together that he was asking about removing the fur. Doing so was a cakewalk and within moments he had some small soft skins to add to the nest. He put the skins off to the side, already figuring that Chris wouldn’t be happy with him if he instantly added them. 

“And have you already gotten the fear of fire or… is that cool?” Fire was bad, dangerous, the others had told him. Why did Chris want fire? He let out a whine, and shook his head, hoping that his human was smart enough to realize that fire was bad. “…was afraid of that.” 

Chris looked down at the skinned rabbits, and made a gagging noise, “I don’t want to eat that, bro.” 

Josh let out a soft growl in response, frustrated. After he'd gone out and hunted for fresh meat-- since Chris refused the old meat-- the human still refused to eat any of it. But, he hadn't torn this meat into pieces, so of course Chris couldn't eat it. How could he forget something so simple?  
Chris gagged a few more times as Josh tore into it for him, "Fuck it," he reached out, picked up a piece, and grimaced, "...Ew. Dude... I can't," he dropped the piece, "I'd rather starve."

That was not acceptable. Josh let out a soft shriek, causing Chris to jerk, then pushed Chris down, using his body and strength to keep him down. 

“Dude… No! No, N-arg,” Josh shoved the rabbit meat into his mouth as the human protested, then held his own clawed hand over Chris’ mouth until the human swallowed. He was crying, tears spilling out from the human’s gray eyes. “That was dis-ugh!” He shoved in another piece and, when Chris finished with that piece, didn’t even protest when Josh shoved another piece in. Finally, when his human had finished most of the rabbit, he climbed off. 

Chris sat up, using his arm to wipe his mouth, and gagged off to the side. Josh hoped that his human didn’t spit all that back up, it’d be annoying to have to re-feed him. Thankfully, Chris kept the meat down, although he was spitting a lot. 

“That… was totally uncool and uncalled for, dude!” He spat out at Josh, but he didn’t care. His human was fed, he was fed, and they were all content and not going to starve now. That’s what was important after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In regards to why Josh let Chris live. There are 2 reasons. 
> 
> 1\. If Hannah - who was far more Wendigo than Josh is - could recognize Josh and drag him off because he said her name, I would think Josh would be the same. 
> 
> 2\. Scent is one of the most strongly linked senses to memory. There is no way these boys were friends since Third Grade and didn't have sleep overs, or basically grow up know each other's scent. Heck, I keep an old scarf around despite it falling apart because it smells like my favorite grandmother who passed away... quite a few years ago. So, I would think, the chances of Josh recognizing Chris' scent are fairly high.
> 
> If you guys have any questions, or just want to talk, don't hesitate to shoot an ask on the blog for this series! You can find it at http://stargazingknight.tumblr.com/ .


	4. Chris

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Previously on Something I Need: We all got an interesting perspective into Wendigo!Josh's thoughts, and it was feeding time for the pet Human.

He couldn’t say how long he stayed down in the mines.  The nights tended to blur together, and besides, living with a Wendibro, because like hell was he going to refer to Josh as one of those monsters, was interesting to say the least.  Besides the twice a day feedings, and fuck, what he’d kill to get some decent cooked meat, and the switch to a nocturnal schedule… things seemed relatively easy.  He’d wake up, call out for Josh – because he couldn’t see that far away – and he wanted to make sure that Josh hadn’t mutated further during the night—er, day—and try to keep himself busy in the small cave that Josh had claimed as his own.  He’d maybe been down there two, maybe three days before he finally started to try to get himself and his life together. 

It was strange.  When they’d first encountered the Wendigos, he’d never really thought about how they lived.  If they slept, or what they did besides hunt.  Now, he had basically unending access to the life of a Wendigo.  Sleeping during the day, usually in a nest of furs from their kills, surrounded by the bones of said kills.  He couldn’t talk much more about what they did at night, because as far as he could tell, they went out and hunted.  Still, it was interesting to think about.  It was one of the few things that was helping him keep his mind because otherwise he was sure he would have gone insane. 

Every so often, he’d pause and look towards one of the entrances and see white eyes staring at him, and he’d freeze, but one growl from Josh and the eyes would vanish like a bat out of hell.  Part of him wondered what Josh had done to make the Wendigos avoid him, another part of him didn’t want to know. 

His arm had been bothering him more and more, and he kind of wanted to explore the mines, so he had decided the first thing that he needed to do, now that he’d cleaned out all of the furs with animal still attached, was to make a sling for his arm.   As long as he explored during the day, he should have been fine, right?  He just had to make a sling.  He would have killed for his phone to be delivered along with the cooked meat, but hey, the cold probably would have sapped his battery anyways. 

“Hey, Josh?”  Josh had scampered off to somewhere earlier.  He hoped it was to get some water, because he was running low on it, but with Josh, who knew.  Most of the time, he returned with random mining tools or useless bits of paper.  Like he was trying to find things for Chris to entertain himself with.  A sharp trill resounded from somewhere above him, and Chris sighed, not even attempting to look up to see if he could find the Wendibro.  “Do you think you could give me a hand?”  An inquisitive chirp responded, and he heard more than saw Josh jump to the floor where he was. 

He held up one of the jackets that he’d opted not to wear.  For starters it was the most blood stained, and secondly, he was pretty sure it was for a female, and there was no way that he’d fit in it.  “Think you can cut this up?  Right about here?”  He was flying blind in making a sling, but he figured he could make something, if he just had the materials.  

Seeing Josh use his clawed hands to tear things to bit had been a bit… startling at first.  He desperately tried to forget when he’d first seen it happen when he’d turned down food and Josh had decided to feed him.  But after a while, he had grown… not used to, but desensitized to it.  Still, seeing how easily Josh’s claws could rip though clothes, yeah… not a heartwarming thought. 

“I need it torn right about here.”  He showed him where he’d needed the cut, and tried to help hold the jacket still when Josh let out a quiet shriek and tore through the coat.  He closed his eyes and forced himself not to imagine those claws tearing through his skin.  What was worse was that he had seen Josh use those claws to tear about meat, so he knew exactly how it’d look if Josh decided to do it to him. 

A small trill and the silence the followed told Chris that Josh had finished.  Still he kept his eyes shut, when he felt the edge of one of Josh’s claws touch his face and gently slide down his cheek.  He’d do this every so often.  Part of Chris wondered if he just liked terrifying him, or if part of Josh remembered that Chris was supposed to have glasses.  “You done, bro?”  The sharp chirp that he’d come to associate with ‘yeah’ was his only response. 

He paused at the thought that he’d come to associate certain sounds with answers.  Great.  He was going so crazy down here that he thought that he could understand Wendigo.  Just what he needed to add to his resume under special skills: ‘understand Wendigo.’  That’d get him hired in a heartbeat.

“Mmm, thanks, bro.”  He opened his eyes once he felt Josh back off some, and examined the jacket, nodding to himself.  “This’ll do.”  He held out his hand, and smiled as Josh bumped his head into it, much like how a cat would.  “I’m beginning to think that Wendigos are nothing more than murderous man-cats.”  He commented softly, before returning his attention back to the jacket.  “Now, let’s see if we can magic up a sling.”  Josh let out an encouraging chirp and scrambled over to the wall to disappear to wherever he usually went when he was Chris watching. 

“You don’t have to hide when you want to watch me.”  He muttered, and ignored the answering chirp.  “Jerk.”  The sling wasn’t perfect, but it kept his arm mostly still, and relieved a lot of the pain that came with accidently moving and jarring it.  “Alright!  Something that’s going my way!”  He cheered, and smiled at where it sounded like Josh’s trilled response came from. 

Lately it had seemed like Josh would try to respond to Chris a majority of the time, so although he was mostly just talking to himself, it did make him feel a bit better.  He supposed it was a bit like crazy old cat ladies talking to their cats.  Although the owner and pet in this particularly relationship was hazy at best. 

He stood with assistance from the wall, and stretched his legs in what felt like forever.  Josh didn’t really like him leaving the bundle of furs on the floor, and when he did, Josh really didn’t like him going towards the ‘door’ of the cave.  He walked a few laps around the cave, ignoring Josh’s alarmed squeaks anytime he was close to the ‘door’.  “Yeah, yeah, I know.  Don’t leave the cave.”  He muttered after a particularly loud squeak.  At least Josh wasn’t pushing him into the furs anytime he left anymore.  Now he just chirped that one particular chirp that he’d learned meant ‘stay’ and expected Chris to do as he asked. 

He walked over to where the miner hat was, which Josh has been using as a water bowl for him.  “I kind of need more water, bro.”  He wanted a bath, actually.  Like, he wanted a bath like Sam wanted baths.  He wanted a nice warm, steaming bath with extra bubbles and super strong smelling soap.  As a matter of fact, that was going to be one of the first things he’d do when he got out of here.  One of the first things because the actual first thing would be making Mr. Stinky-breath brush his teeth and take a bath himself.  Josh trilled from where ever he was, and Chris rolled his eyes.  It wasn’t his fault that he still had scratches and scrapes to try to keep clean. 

He supposed he could melt some of the tiny amount of snow and ice that was in the cave, but that’d require the f-word, and someone – cough, Josh, cough—didn’t like even hearing the f-word.  Any arguments about needing heat were promptly shut down by shoving Chris into the pile of furs and literally burying him in them, and then dog piling on top of that.  And cooking meat?  Forget it.  That went right over Josh’s head and made him think that Chris was hungry and hell, if he didn’t eat when Josh thought he was hungry… well… He’d learned quickly to eat whatever Josh presented him, as long as it wasn’t human at any rate. 

“Dude, I need a bath, I need to clean these clothes, and my injuries… Tiny miner hats aren’t going to work.”  He frowned, and looked to where he assumed Josh was.  “Actually, you need a bath too.”  He never liked it when Josh didn’t respond to him.  For starters, it made him think he was alone, and secondly, it drove in the point that he actually was kind of alone.  “If you don’t take me to go get water, I will take my happy little ass out of his cave by myself and look.”  Still no response.  “God dammit Josh, I don’t want to go out there where those things are.”  Not by himself, at any rate. 

“Looks like I have no choice.  Fuck you too, buddy.”  Although, it was actually kind of common for Josh to just up and vanish.  It was one of the things that made Chris certain that there were more exits up where he couldn’t see.  He tried not to think about it, because if he did, all he could think about would be a Wendigo descending from above and tearing him into pieces.  “Fine.  I’m leaving the cave!”  He shouted out one more time, just to make sure that Josh had gone off.  “Fucker.”  He muttered and took his first step out of the cave. 

The first thing he registered about leaving the cave was that it was dark as fuck, and he guessed it didn’t matter that he couldn’t see further than five feet away from his face because holy hell, it was dark in the mines.  The second thing he’d noticed was that a Wendigo shrieked much further in the mines the moment he’d done so, and if that didn’t send chills down his spine, he didn’t know what would.  It was almost as if that shriek was a ‘hey guys, that one guy’s food is vulnerable and out of the cave, let’s take it and eat it!’. 

He shivered, and shook his head.  It was just his imagination running off with him.  There was nothing to be afraid of.  Besides falling to his death.  Or being mauled by a Wendigo.  Or being caught in a cave in.  Or any of the other ways that he was sure he could die.  Another shriek echoed down the tunnel he was in, this time sounding much closer than before.  “Fuck.”  He muttered, and ducked into a wooden structure, and stood as still as he could.  He heard it pass right where he had been only moments later.  It stopped on the other side of the wood, and shrieked.  His bit his lip to keep himself from making a noise, although inside he was screaming a mantra of curse words. 

He waited a good couple minutes to hear the shrieking continue on further, and carefully exited the structure.  So far, so good.  He was alive, he was fine, he would just continue on, turn this corner, and fuck.  The fucker’s head was literally right in front of his face, and when it shrieked, it shrieked directly into his face.  Fuck.  It was far too late to try the whole ‘stand still’ thing, so he did what any self-preservationist would have done.  He literally turned tail and bolted, a litany of curses escaping his mouth as he did so.  He was pretty sure he passed the area for Josh’s cave, but there was light up ahead, so he ran for that open area.

The creature lunged, and he fell onto his stomach and fuck, his arm.  His vision blacked out for just a moment as pain raced up his arm, and somehow, he managed to kick the creature off.  Not before he gave him some pretty painful scratches.  He rolled over onto his back, panting.  In the light of the moon, the creature did not look any friendlier.  Not with its soulless white eyes and the rotting meat suit it called a body and those teeth, and claws, and oh god, he was going to die.   “Fuck me.”  Chris muttered, as the creature launched itself back at Chris. 

He’d heard that in life or death situations, time seemed to slow down.  He’d experienced that a few times himself, especially when it came to shooting that Wendigo that had killed the stranger.  It was like in slow motion that he saw the Wendigo leap towards him.  It was also in slow motion that he saw Josh come from the side, and slam into the Wendigo before it could actually reach him.  The air was filled with the sounds of shrieks and screams and clicks and trills and a whole plethora of other sounds that made Chris realize that Josh and the ugly fucker were not the only two present. 

The Wendigo kicked Josh off, who perfected a tripoint landing and threw himself back at the Wendigo.  If it wasn’t for the fact that Josh was fighting a Wendigo that very much wanted to kill him, he’d given Josh a whistle and cheer over that sheer display of agility and athleticism.  As it stood, he was more than content to stay as perfectly still as he could in the moonlit center of the cavern and hope that one of the others decided to get smart while Josh was distracted.  He watched, a bit in horror and a bit in awe, as the two threw each other into the wall, and the ground and then finally as Josh ripped the fuckers head off in a showcase of sheer strength. 

He swallowed thickly.  If he hadn’t done whatever it was that had triggered Josh’s more ‘human’ side, that could have been him.  Evidently, he wasn’t the only one thinking ‘that could have been me’ because the sounds from the other Wendigos fell silent.  Josh let out a screech that was 10 times louder than he’d ever heard before.  The only time he’d heard a screech even as close as loud was when the Wendigo that had killed the Stranger had been screeching at them. 

A Wendigo jumped down from the wall and lunged towards Josh, only for Josh to swiftly deny it, and throw it into a wall instead.  He shrieked at it, and Chris’ jaw nearly fell to the floor when he saw it crouch down and back away.  Another shriek sounded from behind him, and he didn’t even turn to look before he heard that Wendigo be tackled by another.  Except, Josh was still in front of him, so it couldn’t have been Josh that tackled this threat.  There were more shrieks and then silence, and Josh was watching, he realized.  Josh who was still pacing around in front of him, but also had his eyes trained on what was going on behind him.  He felt the presence of a Wendigo behind him, watched how Josh’s eyes narrowed, a low growl echoing across the cavern. 

The Wendigo behind him backed off, letting out a quick but sharp trill and chirp in quick succession.  Josh stalked forward, on two legs, to stand before Chris, where he shrieked again, looking around the cavern at things that Chris couldn’t see.  He closed his eyes.  This was it.  He’d finally pissed Josh off, and now that there was a fight over him, Josh would eat him, and… and… he paused, finally registering the soft purr coming from in front of him.  He opened his eyes, and stared at Josh, who’d crouched down beside him. 

“Mine.”  The word wasn’t stuttered, or slurred, or anything other than clear and concise.  There was some chatter from the Wendigo crowd, but there were no more shrieks or screeches, and no more challengers to Josh.  His heart felt like it was going to give out at any time, and he felt like he couldn’t breathe.  The first word he’s heard Josh say in forever, and it was used to claim possession of him after a literal fight to death over him, and spoken more to the crowd than to him. 

The Wendigo behind him let out a soft trill, and Chris jumped minutely, enough for Josh to notice and huff at him, but the other Wendigo let out a sharp and short chirp.  Something he’d learned from Josh to mean ‘sorry’. Josh had fixed his sight back on it, and Chris bit his lip and turned to look himself.  Figuring that it already knew he was there, and if it came down to it, Josh would rip this one’s head off just as easily as he did the other. 

The creature was much closer than Chris would have preferred, but it didn’t look as horrible as some of the others.  It actually reminded him more of Gollum from ‘The Lord of the Rings’ than anything.  Its flesh wasn’t nearly as rotted or decayed, although it was still gray and pulled taught against the bones.  It was in a very low crouch, its stomach almost dragging against the floor, as it seemed to try to bunch itself up to appear less threatening.  It took a single step closer, and he heard Josh snarl and it took about three steps back and somehow dropped even lower. 

Some part of him registered that this Wendigo had defended him from another, and had done so well enough that Josh hadn’t seen fit to intervene.  Another part of him recognized that this was the second Wendigo to offer a submissive stance towards Josh, and that besides the few challengers, none others had stepped forward to challenge his friend. 

Hysteria bubbled up within, and he choked back the laughter.  His friend was the fucking Alpha.  Wendigos evidently had pack mentality, and his friend was the fucking Alpha, and he’d put his foot down and said, ‘don’t touch my fucking human.’  This Wendigo was trying to get on the Alpha’s good side by first defending him and then secondly trying to be as submissive to him as possible.  Him, its natural prey!  It was being submissive to him and to Josh and fuck, if Josh was Alpha then there was no way he was ever going to be able to leave, or get Josh to leave with him. 

Josh was purring again, and that’s what brought his attention back to Josh, who was now watching him with those greenish white eyes.  Well, he could add that to his growing list of things Chris learned today.  1) Wendigos have packs.  2) They have Alphas.  3) Josh is the Alpha.  4) He belongs to the Alpha.  5) Wendigos truly are murderous man-cats because they fucking purr.  The Wendigo on the other side of him was mimicking the sound, abet, a little higher pitched.  If the purring was meant to cause a relaxation sensation, then it certainly succeeded.   He could feel the hysteria and the need to both burst into tears and laughter start to slowly ebb away with every second of the purring.  Josh chirped once Chris’s breath had moderately evened out as if to say ‘better now?’. 

He found he couldn’t do much more than nod his head ever so slightly.  He was still shell shocked by the realizations he’d come to learn, and really, all he wanted right now was to be back in the nest, curled up under the furs, and to just sob.  Some whiskey would not be argued against either.  Some part of him questioned why he’d rather be in the sticky, stinky pile of furs than in his own home, but he shoved that aside and attempted to ignore that thought. 

Josh seemed appeased by the tiny nod, and let out a quiet trill.  He reached over, and Chris protested at being picked up bridal style, but Josh was purring again, and he felt any complaints he had fall short the moment he realized the soft purring came from him.  “Using Jedi mind purring is not fair.”  He mumbled, and would have crossed his arms and pouted had his one arm not been jacked up.  The other Wendigos didn’t make so much as a noise as Josh took them back to the cave, where he promptly put Chris down on the furs and chirped ‘stay’. 

“Sure thing, bro.  Not likely I’m going to be leaving without you again.”  He felt the hysteria bubbling back up and next thing he knew, Josh was pressed up against him, still fucking purring.  “I officially hate the purring.”  Chris muttered.  It was like a cat purring while laying on a person, it just made a person want to curl up and fall asleep. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like if the game didn't want us to think 'pack' it wouldn't have made an 'alpha' Wendigo character... such as Makkapitew. I would also like to note that writing this has forced me to learn how to spell 'Makkapitew' and I feel like this is a very valuable skill I should be able to put on a resume. 
> 
> Also, I very much support the head canon - or is it Fanon by now?- that Wendigos are giant man-eating man-cats and nothing can change this.
> 
> If you guys have any questions, or just want to talk, don't hesitate to shoot an ask on the blog for this series! You can find it at http://stargazingknight.tumblr.com/ .


	5. Chris

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Previously on "Something I Need": Chris didn't listen and was nearly killed by a Wendigo, although he'll get some awesome scars from the encounter. He discovered that Josh is the Alpha Wendigo (read: Makkapitew) and that Wendigos have 'Jedi Mind Purrs' that make him sleepy and at ease.

He way laying outside, the endless expanse of stars stretched out before him. He felt soft flutters against his skin, and just knew that if he turned look on either side of him, that he’d see a butterfly. But he didn’t want to see whatever the butterflies wanted to show him. He’d seen enough last time. 

“You have to look at a butterfly, bro. You don’t have any other option.” Josh’s voice echoed across the field, but Chris refused to look away from the stars, terrified of what his mind would do to Josh if he looked. 

“What does it matter? You aren’t even real. This is a dream.” He heard Josh scoff, and felt the movements of someone sitting down next to him. He knew it was Josh, but still didn’t look, didn’t move his eyes from where they were trained on the sky above. 

“Believe what you want, but dreams can become reality. That’s what the butterfly symbolizes. It flies the possibilities of the future into the past on the wings of dreams.” Now that sounded a bit too poetic to be Josh. Hannah maybe, but certainly not Josh. 

Chris hummed, and shook his head ever so slightly. “That’s along the lines of what Hannah said last time. Am I going to get to watch you change too?” Like the dream hadn’t even faded, he could still recall Hannah walking towards him, changing into a Wendigo. Maybe this was the Wendigo, and it was simply stealing Josh’s voice. He’d heard from Ashley that they could do that, back when Ashley had been talking with him. 

“We hadn’t realized that taking her form would reflect so badly in your mind. This one seems to be more appeasing.” He closed his eyes, and bit his lip. It was still Josh’s voice, but that all but confirmed that whatever he was talking with wasn’t Josh. Least it was comforting to know that he was right about it not being Josh. 

“Who are you?” ‘Josh’ laughed at the question. Hearing that laugh again, it was almost enough to break his heart, knowing that he may never hear it again. 

“Pick a butterfly, and accept the gift which I have chosen to give to you.” It wasn’t an answer, and he honestly doubted if he’d ever get one. Still, Josh was sitting to his right, so he chose to look to his left. Just to be safe, in case Josh did start to change before him. A beautiful white butterfly was resting on a lavender flower. It fluttered it wings and flew up into the sky, and he heard Josh’s laughter as the sky fell down upon him. The stars blurred into a mixture of colors until he was standing in the Washington’s living room, and Josh was at the top of the stairs, watching his mother as she paced the living room floor. 

Josh was wearing a medical mask, like doctors do when they’re about to perform surgery, but other than that, he looked almost normal. His skin wasn’t as bronze as it once was, but it wasn’t as pale as it was now, and there were bags under his greenish white eyes. His hair was a bit long, but all in all, he looked almost normal, wearing a hoodie that Chris was about ninety percent sure belonged to him. 

“Hello.” Mrs. Washington was on the phone and who ever she was talking to seemed to have caught Josh’s attention and then the scene was fading away, and he was warm and content and there was a large heavy cat on top of him. It must have been a cat because he couldn’t think of anything else that purred. Or at least, he hadn’t until the events of the night before hit him, and he recalled with crystal clarity the Jedi mind purr. 

Speaking of, Josh was curled up on top of him, still purring, and his hand had wound itself into Josh’s hair. He bit his lip and attempted to shift away, only to gasp as he was assaulted by pain on both his back and his shoulder. Curse words slipped out of his mouth as he stopped moving, and laid back into the furs. Now that he’d agitated the wounds, they weren’t letting themselves be forgotten. His arm was a slow steady throbbing pain, but his back felt like he’d laid down on a fire grill. The purring increased in volume, and he looked over to see Josh watching him. 

“Not creepy at all, bro.” Josh shifted, getting up off of Chris, his head tilting to the side as he did so and letting out a curious chirp. Josh’s retreat, while slow, was painful, as every move Josh made him shift, even if it was so slightly. He tried to hold himself as still as possible, and a small whimper escaped him when Josh was finally off of him. Another questioning chirp echoed across the cavern. 

“Fuck man… I am so happy you tore that fuckers head off because if you hadn’t, then I would be asking you to.” Chris muttered as he forced himself to sit up. 

He hissed at the pain, closing his eyes and forcing himself to just breath. His whole back felt sticky and wet, and a quick look told them that there was indeed blood on the furs where he’d been laying. Josh let out a low whine, and circled around him, whining every so often. He’d pulled off his top layer, and hissed at the stinging of the wound as he moved. “Fuck.” He whimpered as he attempted to take off another layer. He wasn’t sure how he was going to clean it out, given Josh still hadn’t gotten him more water, but he was certain that letting the material stick to the wound was not good for him. 

His arm was protesting the movements nearly as much as his back, and he blinked back the tears at the pain, and bit back curses that threated to escape. He jerked as he felt pressure on his back, and forced himself to relax as he heard Josh’s whine. He took a mental mantra of ‘please don’t cut me up,’ as Josh helped to remove the already shredded clothes. He was careful not to scratch Chris up as he removed the clothes, letting out tiny whimpers and purrs anytime Chris flinched. 

When the offending cloth was finally off, Josh let out a noise and nuzzled a part of Chris’ back that wasn’t torn up. He couldn’t help but to swallow thickly and force himself not to think about the fact that he was that close to the open wound. “Guess I’ll stay here while you go get some water to cle—woah! Wait, Josh!” As he spoke, Josh made a small huffing noise and then flat out licked his back. And first, that hurt; second, he was being licked. What if Josh decided that he liked how he tasted? He flinched away, and instantly froze as Josh let out a low growl and one of Josh’s clawed hands was wrapping around the back of his neck, holding him still. The other was pressed against his back, and fuck if this whole situation didn’t hurt. 

“Josh.” He whimpered, and closed his eyes, telling himself that he was fine. Josh was not tasting him. No, he was just helping with the injury. That’s what…. Animals… did, wasn’t it? Lick wounds to help stimulate healing, although, he was pretty sure that this wouldn’t help. After all, he saw the stuff Josh ate, and he was almost positive that that was not sanitary. He shuddered at the thought of all the bacteria that was breeding in Josh’s mouth, and the fact that it was now on his back, in his wounds. Eventually, Josh forced him down onto his stomach, and Chris had to bit his hand to keep in the whimpers from the pain that was caused every time Josh dug his tongue into a scratch. After what feel like forever, Josh pulled away from the wound, removing his grip from Chris’ neck. Instead, he nuzzled at the base of his neck, letting out a soft purr. 

“Uh… thanks, bro.” He chirped, and pulled away, and Chris told himself that his racing heart was just because of the fact that he was still terrified out his mind that Josh would change his mind and eat him. Furs went flying from behind him, and he turned as best as he could to see Josh sorting out the nest, finding bloody furs and throwing them to the other side of the cave. He was cleaning his nest out because he knew Chris didn’t like sleeping on bloody furs. 

Once finished, Josh trilled and attempted to maneuver Chris back into the nest. He had Chris lay on his stomach, being super careful of his arm as he helped him out. The cold mountain air stung against his back, but the wound did, admittedly feel better. Josh chirped out ‘Stay’ from somewhere in the cave, and Chris nodded. “Sure thing, Josh.” He closed his eyes and told himself it would only be for a moment, and when he reopened them, it was to a miner’s hat full of water by him. 

“Thanks, Josh.” He muttered as he reached out and took a sip of it as best he could while staying on his stomach. Josh trilled from beside him, and Chris would have jumped if he wasn’t used to this already. Instead he looked over, to see Josh tearing apart a poor rabbit. As if suddenly realizing that it was feeding time, his stomach let out a low growl. Josh tore off a tiny bit of the rabbit, and offered it to him. 

Eating raw rabbit wasn’t as horrific as it had once been. As a matter of fact, it wasn’t too terribly bad. He supposed it could be worse. Josh could have forced human flesh onto him. So instead of fussing, he let out a resigned sigh and accepted the meat. Josh let out an encouraging soft noise, and continued to offer small pieces off of the rabbit. With every bite Chris took, Josh cooed comfortingly, like he was praising Chris for taking the rabbit without fuss for once. 

He wanted to curl up, but he knew his back, and his arm wouldn’t allow it, so instead he resigned himself to a few days, at the least, of being bored out of his mind while he waited for the wounds to heal. On the bright-side, there was no annoying alarm clocks to wake him up and no mother to nag at him to go to his therapist or to school or to hang out with his friends. On the downside, he wasn’t sure he would be able to last a few days without doing something to entertain himself. He sighed as he buried his head into the soft rabbit furs that he used as pillows. Maybe things wouldn’t be as bad as he thought they’d be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you guys have any questions, or just want to talk, don't hesitate to shoot an ask on the blog for this series! You can find it at http://stargazingknight.tumblr.com/ .


	6. Josh

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Previously on "Something I Need": Chris had a strange out of world experience/dream that had to do with butterflies. He woke up to the living nightmare of his injuries and Wendigo!Josh, who tried to help his human by cleaning up Chris' injuries. He also ate some more rabbit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> School was relatively slow today, and I received a notification from my editor, Ghost, that she was finished with the chapter. So, in excitement of the holiday, I went ahead and posted Early. 
> 
> Happy Saint Patrick's Day, guys! Be safe, and have fun!

Josh felt very proud of himself.  He was also a bit annoyed, but mostly proud. He was annoyed that he hadn’t been fast enough to get to his human before one of the others, and that Chris had been hurt because of that.  He was also mildly annoyed by the fact Chris had left the cave at all.  However, he had to look on the other side of life, and he was proud of himself for not only feeding and watering Chris, but cleaning up his wounds too.  It also helped sooth his pride that the others were now taking him seriously, giving him the respect he deserved. 

He chirped as he offered his human another piece of fresh meat.  He couldn’t possibly express how happy he was that his human was finally not putting up a fight before eating meat.  Now if only he could get some of the really good meat.  The meat that made his mouth water, and his stomach howl with longing.  Technically, he could get it, but Chris wouldn’t eat it because he was picky and only liked fresh meat.  Silly human.

Chris rolled his eyes at the chirp and that was another thing that made him happy, that his pet was learning to understand him.  Chris buried his head back into the furs when he finished that piece, and Josh chirped as he offered another. 

“No, Josh.”  Well, he understood those words.  That meant his human was done, but he hadn’t eaten as much as he had before in the past.  Perhaps the pain made him less hungry?  He let out a questioning chirp and tried to understand what Chris’ responding groan could mean. 

Humans were so weird.  He was so much happier now, and he wished Chris would see that, would try to join him.  Especially since humans were stupid too.  He’d told Chris not to leave the cave, and what had he done?  Left the cave.  Well, he knew better now.  Although, it wouldn’t have been a problem if Chris would just… well, listened to him from the beginning. 

He huffed at Chris’ dismissal of more food, because who didn’t want more food, and ignored the hand movement that Chris made at the noise.  He knew it was mean, but he also knew that it wasn’t made in truth.  He was certain that Chris liked him, least that’s what his dreams and memories told him. 

He could recall when he was human much easier now.  It was still hazy, but he could remember the words Chris said, and the movements, and actions and thoughts.  It was strange, yet at the same time, it was comforting.  He could recall when he first met Chris, they were both so very little.  Chris had seemed sad then, like when the human had first arrived in the mines, but Chris was better now.  Better both times because of him, and it made him want to trill with contentment and smugness that _he_ had been the one to make Chris happier.  Not the red haired female he often saw in his memories with Chris.  No, Chris was his now.  Only his, and the others, the pack, knew this now too.  Knew that Chris was technically pack through him, and he would not stand for anything to happen to his Chris. 

He watched his human, his Chris.  It was one of his favorite past times besides hunting.  Sometimes, he wondered what it’d be like to hunt with Chris.  When Chris was better they’d find out.  He’d take Chris out of the mines, teach him his way around.  Then he’d show Chris the best places to hunt.  Chris would not be a weak defenseless human, but a hunter, and would stay by his side.  The thought caused satisfaction to bubble up inside, and he almost purred.   

In any case, he figured Chris would stay put for at least a moonrise.  His human had issues, evidently, with staying put and not getting into trouble.  Well, while Chris was staying in the nest, Josh figured he might as well see if he could find anything to entertain his human.  Chris seemed to enjoy the papers the most, even if he had to hold them up super close to his face to look at them and often complained about the lack of light.  The large cold building higher on the mountain had a lot of papers, so he could probably go and grab those. 

He headed toward the closest exit.  He was just about to leave, when he paused, and turned to look back at Chris, laid out on the nest.  He chirped at him to stay, and received a silent hand gesture that he knew meant ‘sure’. 

He was skeptical, but at the same time, he doubted Chris would go out and about after last time.  Chris had said as much as well.  Keeping that in mind, he climbed up and out of his cave, and let out a shriek once he was out of the caves to let the others know where he was.  A few others responded, and he nodded to himself.  The others seemed to be fine, so he raced up to the cold empty building.  Some of the others weren’t fond of this building, but he knew that some of them liked to use the building to take out their anger or to play games. 

Some of the others called out for him as he passed their group, and he stopped to go see what they wanted.  They questioned if he wanted to help with some elk, and he huffed.  He could hunt elk on his own, unlike the mildly weaker others.  Besides, he was doing something for his human right now.  He could go and hunt later.  One of them shrieked to get his attention, and he snapped at it, finding amusement at how it almost immediately sunk down to its belly in a submissive manner. 

Very quietly, it trilled and chirped out ‘Chris’ and he growled.  Why was it asking about Chris?  Was it threatening Chris because if so, that was not going to go over well with him.  Especially after he’d challenged the others to deny his choice when Chris had left the cave.

One of the others quickly interjected with an inquisitive ‘hungry?’  Ah.  They were wondering if Chris was hungry.  Well, that was… unexpected.  Part of him was insulted, like, of course his human wasn’t hungry.  He didn’t starve his human.  Another part of him was satisfied that they were making an effort to accept his human. Although that might have been due to fear of him, or a desire to get on his good side by caring about the same thing he did.  Regardless, he gave them a negative chirp, letting them know that Chris was satisfied.  They accepted that response, and he trilled at them to let him know that he was pleased they’d asked about Chris before he departed the group. 

He was about to continue his way to the large empty human building when he passed by a smaller, mostly intact, building.  Perhaps there was stuff that Chris would like in there?  This was closer to the mines, so this way he could get the stuff and have more time to hunt.  Yes, this would work out.  Getting into the building was no problem, neither was looking around and finding various things.  He picked up a few bindings of paper, figuring that whatever they were for, Chris would know and enjoy them all the same.  After all, this was a human place, so he was sure that he’d like anything he brought him. 

He ran into the other that had helped defend Chris on his way back down, and a quick fleeting thought invaded his mind at the sight of the other and he decided that this was perfect.  He trilled encouragingly at the other, who looked up at him and trilled softly back in question.  He wasn’t sure how to express this, but if any of the others understood, he thought it’d be this one.  He trilled and chirped in sharp quick succession, the noises he’d mentally deemed as ‘Chris’ although he wasn’t sure how the other’s translated it.  The first group of others had questioned about Chris using that, so this one would probably understand.  The other made a questioning chirp as if to say ‘what about him?’.  He let out a series of chirps and trills and clicks, and somehow knew that when he was done that the other had understood what it was that he wanted.

He handed some of the stuff off to help him carry it, and then they both descended down into the mines.  Chris was where he’d left him, for once, so he supposed he should take small victories.

“Bring me some goodies?”  Josh answered with an affirmative chirp and dropped the stuff where Chris could easily get to it.  The other with him trilled asking if he should do the same, and Josh gave an affirmative chirp.  “Oh!  You brought Gollum with you.  Awesome!  Is this the part where you start bringing different members in and have them get used to me?” 

What had he called the other?  He gave a confused trill and then growled at the other, because he was certain Chris had given it a name.  “Well, what else am I supposed to call it?  Wendigo Number 2?  Nah, he reminds me of Gollum from LotR, so, I’m going with that.”  As if understanding what was going on, the other, christened Gollum by Chris, shrunk down and offered a submissive stance. Josh growled at him.  If he’d thought Chris would like another more than him, then he wouldn’t have brought the other here!  “Josh, chill.  You’re still my number one Wendibro.” 

Well, that was reassuring.  Gollum let out a hesitant chirp and Josh hissed at it but didn’t make any other aggressive actions.  “Although its adorable that you were jealous.  Like, really Josh?  Don’t you know that you’re the only one for me?”  He preened at Chris’ words, and decided that this could work after all.  This way when Chris would undoubtedly want to try to explore again, he wouldn’t be all by himself. 

He dismissed Gollum, and then refilled Chris’ water before deciding that he was going to go and hunt.  This time when he was invited, he accepted, and dragged the elk back to his nest.  Normally Chris ate rabbit, but he supposed that variation was good for him.  Besides, the larger furs provided by the elk would help replace those lost from when Chris was hurt.  Chris’ face at the elk was priceless, and he preened when a startled “Good job, bro,” came from Chris.

By the time they were done eating, the sun was just starting to rise, so he flopped down beside Chris.  He nuzzled into his side, letting out a soft purr as he listened to Chris’ heartbeat and breath.  He’d purr until Chris fell asleep, and then he’d let himself drift off, but only once Chris was taken care of.   

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've set up a blog dedicated to this series where readers can post responses, comments, ask questions and even see some Art! You can find the blog at http://stargazingknight.tumblr.com/ .


	7. Josh

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Previously on 'Something I Need': We got Josh's thoughts on the situation that poor Chris just had to go through. He was a bit annoyed that Chris didn't listen to him, and that Chris got hurt, but hey, past is past, and he can't do anything about it. Josh went and found Chris some entertainment so that Chris wouldn't (hopefully) feel the need to explore and get hurt again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the late update. For those who follow the blog, you'll know that I was struck with a horrible case of work, school and allergies. And by allergies, I mean the type that leaves you coughing every 30 seconds, and reaching for your inhaler because you can't breath. Yeah, those. (I am taking both medicine and honey for that cough) 
> 
> With Work, I have to get up at 5 in the morning, and then School is immediately after, and I usually get home around 11:30-12 at night (early morning?) so, all in all, during the week, I usually get 5 hours of sleep everyday, if that. Once work switches shifts on me, I should be good with that, so.. just one more week of this.

Over the next couple of days, he was displeased to see that his original assessment was correct.  Chris did get stir crazy.  He had started to walk around the cave again, after he’d gotten Josh to cut up some cloth and furs that he could use to stay warm but not irritate his back too much. 

Chris seemed to have become rather used to Josh cleaning out his wounds for him.  While he’d be stiff whenever Josh started, by the time he was done, Chris would be pliant and almost dozing off.  Although, any sharp pain caused by the cleaning would jolt him back to being tense.  Josh prided himself on only jolting Chris a few times per cleaning session now.  Soon he was confident that he’d be able to care for his human without accidently hurting him. 

Despite Chris’ last experience out of the cave, he could tell his human wanted to explore.  Perhaps go back to the water.  He’d see Chris stop by the human entrance to the cave, and peer out into the darkness of the mines.  Long ago, he’d given up squeaking anytime Chris did so, after all, the others knew he belonged to Josh.  However, that didn’t prepare him for when Chris stopped by the entrance and looked back at him, making a soft questioning noise.  He would have preferred if Chris didn’t.  If he stayed in the cave, wrapped up in the nest.  However, all things considered, it was only a matter of time.  Besides, Gollum had promised to look after Chris when he was out of the cave.  He gave his affirmative, grudgingly, and tried to reason with himself that the way Chris’ face lit up was worth it. 

He especially didn’t like Chris being out and about in the mines with his wounds still causing him issues.  He didn’t think he’d be able to stop Chris from exploring, so he settled with the next best option of following Chris and Gollum around.  He showed Chris were the icy cold water that Chris had originally found was located.  Both he and Gollum watched with amusement as Chris cursed, using the water to clean parts of himself off without actually going into the water.  

He knew Chris was just trying to take care of himself, but really, he was partially annoyed that Chris didn’t think his cleaning of the wounds wasn’t enough.  Then again, it was best to clean wounds often, so he dealt with it.  Plus, Chris’ cries at the cold water was amusing.

Deeper in the mines, much deeper, there were considerably warmer pools of water, but he wasn’t sure that Chris was up for that journey.  Not yet anyways.  Maybe later, when Chris was all healed up and had become an accomplished hunter. 

He sniffed Chris when he finished cleaning himself, and huffed.  The mini bath had washed off more than just some blood and grime.  Josh’s scent on him was faded now, but should still be prevalent enough that any others who didn’t recognize him would not give him any issues. 

Gollum started joining him in Chris watching, and Chris had taken to talking to them both.  Josh reassured himself that Chris still liked him best.  After all, Chris didn’t share a nest with Gollum, or make the facial gesture that meant happy at Gollum nearly as much as he did for Josh. 

Every so often, one of the others would come and interact with Chris.  Either giving him small human things or clothes or meat.  He’d put his foot down, so to say, at the meat, and explained to them that Chris was picky.  Since then, it had only been fresh meat, but Chris still seemed to prefer meat that Josh provided over any of the meat the others brought him. 

“To be honest, Josh, when I came back to the mountain, this was not what I expected.”  Josh trilled, and Chris smiled at him.  “I think I’ve been adopted into your pack, bro.”  He stared at Chris before chattering at him.  Of course he was part of the pack now.  He was different than the others, but they no longer stopped and stared at the human.  Or complained that they were hungry for Chris, or anything that they’d done from the beginning.  Chris smiled at him, and he purred, always happy to elicit a response from him. 

Like everything there were some downsides.  All the movement was not good for Chris.  Josh couldn’t count how many times he’d had to come get Chris and bring him back to the nest.  Gollum had been a gift as he would screech for Josh anytime he thought Chris was hurt or getting tired.  Despite that, by the time Josh got to them, it was usually with Chris leaning against the mine wall on his good side, his good arm holding his dysfunctional one and hissing in pain.  Every time he’d click his disappointment at Chris for over pushing himself, and carry him back to the nest, where he’d be confined until Chris asked to leave again. 

It was after one such incident that he realized that Chris had finished the bundle of papers from the smaller human building, and that Chris would need new entertainment items.  Well, that was no problem.  He’d just go on up to the larger building, like his original plan had been, and bring him some paper from there.  He chirped to ‘stay’ at Chris and held back a huff when Chris replied “Since when haven’t I?” 

About half way up, he heard the shriek of one of his kind calling for him.  He paused, and debated ignoring them, or going and seeing what they wanted.  He growled and huffed, but raced off towards the approximate area where the shriek had come from.  He smelt the reason for the call long before he reached the other.

The other was crouched by a trail, and sniffing around.  He chirped at Josh that there had been humans in the area, although they were long gone now.  Josh chirped at the other to let the others know to recheck these areas tomorrow at moonrise to see if the humans would return with the rise of the ball of fire. 

The other chirped an affirmative, and scampered off to complete his orders.  Josh huffed, and sniffed the air once again, sort of dejected by the lack of humans.  He hoped he could have gotten some fresh human to provide for Chris, since his human only liked fresh meat.  Alas, it was not meant to be.  Which was a shame, really, because most of Chris’ problems would be solved then. 

He made his way back up to the building and huffed when another called out for him.  He growled in annoyance, before making his way to the group that had called for him.  They questioned about the human scent, and he dejectedly told them that there wasn’t any of their favorite prey on the mountain.  They expressed their disappointment with soft trills before inviting him on a hunt for elk.  He declined, as he still had some on his ledge in his cavern and Chris had plenty of fresh rabbit left over. 

He made it up to the building with no further interruptions from the others.  The building was literally full of cloths and papers.  Perfect for helping his human out and keeping him satisfied.  The cloths could be used to keep Chris warm, and the papers were perfect entertainment.  The only opposition he faced was from the local pack of predators, but at his screech, they had scattered into the building and he hadn’t seen them since.  The sun would be rising soon, and he knew he had to return to the mines.  He gathered what he’d found and hightailed it to the mines, content in the knowledge that Chris would be entertained for at least a little while. 

He dropped off the cloth and papers in the cavern, and stopped by his human.  There was a sheen of liquid on his forehead, but his eyes were closed and his breathing seemed even.  The water bowl was empty, so he’d best refill it before he went to sleep himself.  He scooped up the hat and made a quick run to the mill, before returning and putting the bowl where his human would be able to easily reach it.  He shifted the furs around a little bit before he flopped down onto them, and nuzzling into the functional side of his human.  He yawned, and snuggled up closer, as the first rays of dawn shined into the cave. 

The shrieks of the others woke him, and he opened an eye to see that moonrise was just beginning.  He yawned, and looked towards the entrance he used the most to see one of the others looking back down at him.  It screeched for him, and sounded both excited and disappointed at the same time.  Chris stirred at the shrieks, but didn’t waken, and Josh figured that was a good thing.  Poor human needed the sleep. 

He nuzzled against Chris’ skin, pressing his teeth up against him in a sign of good faith and attention.  Even if Chris wasn’t awake for it, it made Josh feel better.  Like he was reassuring Chris that he would return and that he wouldn’t eat him.  When awake, Chris hadn’t been receptive to it, but he was steadily starting to get used to it, and now actually smiled when Josh did it. 

The other up above let out another mini screech and he yawned, and stretched out, being careful not to hurt Chris with his claws as he did so before leaping up onto the wall and climbing out.  The other was quick to inform him that the humans had indeed come back during the day, and had left well before night hit.  Their scent was all over the building that the humans used to get on and off the mountain, mixing with Chris’ older scents.  There was a familiar scent mixed in with the various humans’, but he attributed the flip it caused as being due to the remnant of Chris’ scent on the shack, and the sadness that had infected Chris’ normal scent. 

He’d have to think on a way that he could trap the humans during the day while they were asleep so they could hunt them come the night.  Going out during the day wasn’t feasible, but if the humans entered the caves and mines… well… he could work with that.  He traced the scents up to the burnt husk of a human building and to a mostly intact, but considerably smaller, human building.  He was hoping that they had ventured closer to the mines, where they could lure them in, but, alas, it wasn’t an option.  Well… he had those ripped clothes.  Perhaps if he made trail towards the mine…. That could entice the humans to come close enough for him to lure them in, if they didn’t just walk on in. 

However, if the humans had any idea about his pack, then they’d be wary.  If they didn’t know about the pack, then they would still be wary about the clothes.  Humans were suspicious, and while their empathy and sympathy would be a great tool for him to lure them in, it was also a huge hindrance in the sense that they may not enter due fear that whatever tore up those clothes was still lurking about.  Human compassion was only skin deep. 

He could think on this after hunting, when he was Chris watching.  Perhaps watching his own pet human would give him some insight on how to lure these into his mines?  He growled at the others to go back to their usual activities, and told the one who’d discovered the scents to check back tomorrow to make sure the humans were still coming. 

He caught himself an elk while hunting with the others, and was about to go get a rabbit, when one of the others presented him with one.  They chirped out ‘Chris’ and he grudgingly accepted it.  He wasn’t sure where this whole ‘come hunt with us’ and ‘give Chris food’ nonsense was coming from, but he supposed it was alright, as long as Chris didn’t decide to like one of them more than he liked Josh. 

He dropped the rabbit down into his cave, before climbing in himself, and looked to check on Chris.  Chris was still on the nest.  What a good human he was being… for once.  Chris had looked over at the meat when it fell, but had turned his attention back to the papers that he’d managed to get from the cloth.  Well, that was good.  His human had liked the papers after all. 

“You find me the weirdest stuff.”  Chris commented, and Josh crawled closer to him to see what Chris was doing.  He was… doing something weird to the paper, and he felt like he should know what it was, but still… “Can you cut the paper, evenly, here?”  He had folded the paper a specific way and was asking for Josh to cut off the excess paper.  He did as he was asked, and watched as Chris folded it up into a strange shape and then used a thinly rolled up piece of paper and the remains of yesterday’s meal to scribble on the folded paper.  “This used to be so much easier when I could fully use my other arm.”  When he finished, he tossed it off to the side, and then started folding another paper.  Josh trilled, unsure of how to feel about Chris’ newest behavior.  Humans were so weird. 

The second thing he made evidently wasn’t what Chris wanted either.  It was a strange, elongated shape and when Chris threw it, he made a distressed noise when it didn’t go very far at all.   He chirped to ask if everything was fine, and Chris replied that it was, so he was sure it wasn’t too terribly important.  Chris grabbed another paper and started doing more stuff to it, and Josh huffed, and decided that now would probably be the best time to fix his human his meat and refill the water. 

He left the tiny chunks of meat by Chris, who made a face, but didn’t protest against it, and grabbed the bowl and headed towards the mill.  One of the others inquired about Chris, and Josh chirped that he was fine, and continued on his way to bringing Chris water.   

A small white thing almost hit him as he entered his cave, and he almost dropped the water as he dodged it.  “I’m sorry, Josh!”  He growled at the offending triangle on the ground, and picked it up, examining what his human had thrown at him.  Paper.  It was paper.  His human had thrown paper at him.  What in the world? 

“It’s a football, dude.  I can’t exactly use a fortune teller with one hand, and all of my paper planes have failed, hence why I tried a fortune teller.  But this paper seems pretty cool for footballs.”  Wait.  Something about what he said… He looked around, and indeed, there was quite a bit of folded paper thrown around.  He’d figured Chris had finally made a mess when he was getting something, but no, this was all intention.  Humans were so annoying.  He huffed his annoyance, and put the water by Chris so he could drink when he wanted. 

He turned to climb up to his ledge when he was hit by something from behind.  He turned and snarled at Chris, who blinked up innocently at him.  “What?”  He huffed and looked down at another small offending paper triangle.  He let out a quiet growl and turned around again, only for the next tiny triangle to take a wide shot and shoot over his shoulder and bounce off the wall before sliding off into the cave.  How many of those things did Chris have?   That was it.  No more paper for Chris.

He turned back around just to see another paper coming for him.  He growled as he snatched it out of the air, and threw it back at Chris, only for it to go a measly few inches away from him.  How was Chris throwing these tiny triangles that they were shooting at and around him?  “You gotta flick them, bro.”  Chris answered his unasked question, and tilted his head to the side.  “Though, I don’t think you can with those claws.” 

He clicked out ‘stop’ and huffed at Chris, who rolled his eyes at him.  “Well, what else am I going to do?  My phone’s gone, I can’t go anywhere, and all you’ve brought me is paper.”  A mistake which Josh would not be making again.  Stupid humans and their stupid ‘footballs’.  

Wait, humans and their ‘footballs’.  That was an idea.  He looked down at the tiny ‘footballs’.  Humans made these things for entertainment.  So if another human saw some, they’d be curious and come and investigate, right?  This would probably work better than the torn clothes, which would make the humans wary and scared.  This would make the humans curious.  Maybe a bit weirded out, but still curious.  He chirped encouragingly at Chris.  He’d need a few more of those to make this plan work.  What a good human Chris was!  He knew spending some time with Chris would give him an idea. 

“Nu-uh.  You told me to stop, remember?”  Chris response to his chirp was not encouraging at all.  He let out a soft trill of apology and picked up the ‘football’ that was on the ground.  He handed it back to Chris and chirped encouragingly again.  “…you want me to throw this at you?”  Ugh.  Was his human always this dense?  He huffed, and shook his head and tapped the football.  “I don’t understand, bro.”  Clearly.  Well… maybe if he took them all away, Chris would get bored and make more?  It was worth a shot. 

He didn’t want to take the one back so soon after giving it to Chris, so he huffed and turned away, collecting the others around the nest before climbing up to his ledge with them.  To his mild irritation, Chris didn’t make more.  But he did use the tiny rolled up paper and the puddle left over from his meat to scribbled on the remaining papers.  Some of his scribbles looked like drawings, others looked like the scribbles that were ordinarily covering the papers to begin with.  Oh well, whatever floated Chris’ boat, since he wasn’t being nice and making more ‘footballs.’

“Oh my god, Josh.  Are you seriously… is the big bad alpha honestly pouting?”  He let out a disappointed chirp and tried to ignore the hurt feelings he felt when Chris laughed at him.  Oh, wait!  Chris was folding the papers again.  Perfect.  He let out a happy trill and knew that Chris heard it by the way he looked up in his direction.   He scribbled some more on the papers, and then continued to fold.  It looked like he was scribbling on them before folding them, and it made an interesting design whenever they were complete.  Whatever, it’d just interest the humans more. 

Chris tended to fall asleep shortly before sunrise, so Josh just had to wait until Chris fell asleep before he could take his ‘footballs’ and create a trail in the forest that led to the mines.  It couldn’t be just a standard trail, no, he had to make it look like the trail wasn’t meant.  Perhaps it’d be best suited to wait until tomorrow night, that way he could tell the others and set it up.  After all, humans were easily startled and scared… so this had to be done perfectly. 

He yawned, and jumped back down.  Chris had just finished another football, and yawned himself.  “Mmm. Gonna come keep me warm?”  Josh chirped an affirmative and snuggled down next to him.  Normally he waited until Chris was asleep, but given that he was invited, well… he’d take what was offered.  “Good morning, Josh.”  Chris muttered before fluffing his furs and using them as pillows. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've set up a blog dedicated to this series where readers can post responses, comments, ask questions and even see some Art! You can find the blog at http://stargazingknight.tumblr.com/ . 'd like to add that my editor tries to post daily chibis. She doesn't always manage it, but she has a very busy schedule. So far she's done Chris, Josh, Wendigo!Chris, Wendigo!Josh, Gollum, Mike (and wolfie) and Sam.


	8. Josh

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Previously on "Something I Need": Josh realized that Chris needs materials to stay busy and 'out of trouble' so he went and found some paper and stuff to give Chris. He also discovered that humans have been coming to the mountain during the day, but haven't been staying until night, nor have they been straying near places where Josh and the pack can get to them. Josh plots how to get the humans to come to the mines while Chris uses the paper to make paper footballs that he flicks at Josh. This gives Josh an idea.

Josh woke before the others, which wasn’t too unusual.  Sometimes he woke up before them, getting up and stretching before the moon could fully rise, and making sure that Chris would have enough water or supplies.  However, this wasn’t like that.  He knew it wasn’t time to be up because the big ball of fire was still present in the sky.  Although it wasn’t high in the sky, and was slowly being lowered.  He could tell from the tiny shafts of light that filtered in from the openings in the top of the cave. 

 He hadn’t woken naturally, something had disturbed him and he waited for a moment to assess what it could have been.  It took him a moment to realize what had woken him, and when he realized what it was, he was instantly concerned. 

 Chris was making distressed noises, his eyes moving quickly under his lids, and his breathing was uneven.  Josh sniffed him, taking in the distressed smell mixed with sweat and Chris’ normal musk.  His human was distressed, and that wasn’t okay.  Josh let out a low whine before purring softly, pressing himself closer to Chris. 

 It was due to this that he felt, more than saw, Chris wake up.  Chris shifted and wrapped himself around Josh, and Josh squeaked because first, he wasn’t expecting this, and second, he could smell blood, so Chris had reopened the wound on his back.  He whined, knowing that reopening the wound couldn’t have been painless, and a quick sniff confirmed that Chris was distressed and in pain.   

 He was sobbing into Josh’s shoulder, and Josh honestly didn’t know what to do besides nuzzle him and continue to purr.  He knew that cleaning the wound would help, but Chris didn’t seem to be keen to cooperate.  As a matter of fact, the only thing Chris seemed to want to do was just cry into Josh’s shoulder and accept Josh’s meager attempts of comfort. 

 The sun was gone by the time he managed to calm Chris back down, although Chris made grabby hands towards Josh anytime he even attempted to extract himself.  He’d heard one of the others shriek that the humans had revisited while they slept.  He supposed that was good news, since it meant that the humans were consistently returning.  What wasn’t good was Chris’ response to the shriek.  He freaked out, and it took Josh forever to calm his human back down.  He’d trilled back a response, which Chris seemed to receive better than the shrieks of the others. 

 He didn’t know what had triggered this panic in Chris.  He pressed his face up against him, baring his teeth against his skin in a show of reassurance.  Chris broke into hiccupped laughter although tears were still streaming down his face.  Questioning chirps were ignored, and while that was irritating, he supposed he couldn’t deny Chris his right to remain in silence on the matter bothering him. 

 All he could do was be there for him.  To comfort him, and try to calm Chris’ unspoken fears and concerns.  Really, he was surprised this hadn’t happened earlier.  Humans were fragile, and easily broken.  It was no wonder that the weight of everything was crashing down now. 

 Some small part of him hoped that this would help make Chris more manageable.  That Chris would stop being as picky as he was, or start being more accepting of his situation.  He shushed that part of him.  It wasn’t conducive to helping Chris right now. 

 It was mid moon before Chris had calmed enough to let Josh go.  On the bright side, Josh didn’t need to go hunting because the others had evidently decided that they would help provide.  That was part of why it took so long to calm Chris… every time he’d manage, some meat would appear from the others, and Chris would freak back out. 

 It took him forever, but he managed to get Chris to lay back down on his stomach, and then crawled over him to re-clean his back, since it’d been reopened.  Chris whimpered at first, but didn’t flinch or freak out as badly as he had the first time Josh cleaned the wound.  The hardest part of everything was maintaining his purr, as it was one of the few things that calmed Chris down. 

 When Chris finally settled down, he’d dropped back to sleep, and Josh noted that the sheen of liquid was present on Chris’ face again.  His poor Chris.  He nuzzled the sleeping human, being extra careful not to wake him back up.  He wanted to stay.  Wanted to make sure that none of Chris’ fears returned while he was away and unable to chase them off. 

 However, he had stuff to do tonight, so he pulled away from his slumbering human and gathered up his ‘footballs’.  As he scattered them across the mountain in a way that barely led towards a mouth of the mines, he heard a few of the others asking about Chris.  A few had kills to give to him, some had some cloths from the building.  It was definitely better than before in the beginning, when they’d simply wanted to eat Chris.  He accepted their gifts on Chris’ behalf, and informed them that they were going to stay near the mine entrances when the moon set to see if the humans would take the bait. 

 Fresh human flesh always made Josh feel better…. Maybe it’d make Chris feel better too?  He certainly hoped so.  That was the hope he’d been sticking to for a while now.  He was concerned about his human.  He knew the reoccurring liquid that appeared on Chris’ face wasn’t good.  Or the way his body temperature seemed to spike when he was sleeping.  Not to mention the human’s scent had been getting weaker since he’d gotten scratched. 

 Josh could only hope that Chris would accept the fresh meat when he presented it.  Especially as Josh was sure it would heal his human.  Make him stronger.  It would allow Chris to shed his human limitations and become a true member of the pack.  To be free to hunt and climb and scream at the sky.  Chris would love the freedom; he was sure of it. 

 He wanted to go and check on Chris before the sun rose, but he didn’t have the time.  He was sure Chris would be fine.  Gollum had stayed behind to watch out for the human.  To keep him relatively safe if Chris woke up and panicked again, or decided he wanted to explore.  Gollum knew to call for him in the event Chris woke up… or needed him.  Besides, it wasn’t like Chris got himself into trouble anytime Josh wasn’t with him. 

  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've set up a blog dedicated to this series where readers can post responses, comments, ask questions and even see some Art! You can find the blog at http://stargazingknight.tumblr.com/ . I'd like to add that my editor tries to post daily chibis. She doesn't always manage it, but she has a very busy schedule. So far she's done Chris, Josh, Wendigo!Chris, Wendigo!Josh, Gollum, Mike (and wolfie), Jessica, and Sam.
> 
> If you want to request a Chibi, you absolutely can! Just stop on by and send in an ask!


	9. Sam

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Previously on "Something I Need": Chris was sick and had a nightmare. It took Josh most of the chapter to calm him down. It didn't help that Chris freaked out anytime the pack tried to help by providing food for Chris. Josh contemplated giving Chris human meat to make him healthy.

Sam bit her lip as she walked out of the cable car station for the umpteenth time in the last few days since they’d started looking for Chris in earnest.  The Rescue Team with her was paranoid about staying on the mountain after dark, or about going down into the mines.  Which, she could totally understand.  They hadn’t allowed her to read the reports of any of the previous rescue attempts for Hannah, Beth, or Josh; however, she didn’t need to read them to know what they said.  She’d lived the nightmare before.  She’d been down in the mines, had seen the bones and skulls and remains.  She knew the horrors that awaited mortals.  

Honestly, she knew at this point they were just looking for Chris’ body.  If anything was left.  It’d been about eight days since he’d been declared missing.  A lot of the holdup had been figuring out _where_ to look, and proving what she’d already known to the police.  Realistically, she estimated that Chris had been gone about… twelve days.  Maybe less, around ten.  It was hard to say exactly.  Regardless, she wasn’t confident in the chances of finding her friend alive.  

She scanned the local surroundings, wondering if today would be the day they’d find his remains?  They’d already found the empty bottles he left scattered across the cable car station and in the car.  That hadn’t helped improve his chances of survival.  Especially since she could just imagine him walking straight off a cliff because he was too drunk to notice.  

She paused, seeing a tiny ‘football’ caught up in one of the bushes near the station.  That had not been there before.    Her heart jumped up into her throat as she approached it.  Had it been left by Chris?  Chris was the only person who could have left it.  She couldn’t see the Wendigos creating ‘footballs’, not with those claws; but Chris, with his human hands?  He definitely could.  She held the ‘football’ for what felt like forever, staring down at the tiny folded piece of paper.  

“What’s that?”  She jumped at the voice, spinning around to see one of the members of the team she’d bullied her way onto.  His chocolate brown eyes were lit up with hope and concern, and she felt a small part of her concerns melt away.  

“It’s a paper ‘football’,” she explained, holding it out for Johnny to take.  Johnny had been one of the first to show something other than disdain towards her.  He understood she was concerned for her friend, had respected that.  After all, she had learned that him losing his mother like this was one of the reasons he’d joined search and rescue.  “I’m hoping it’s a clue from Chris.”  

He hummed, unfolding the paper and scanning over it.  “It’s just medical jargon.  The paper’s old… maybe it came from the Sanatorium?”  She shrugged, and he took the paper to the team leader. 

They decided they’d head up towards the Sanatorium, if anything just to check it out.  Sam smiled at Johnny, mouthing out a thank you since the team leader never liked to listen to her.  He nodded in response, and gave her a hopeful smile.  

A few hours later, another team member, Milly, located the second.  Milly unfolded the paper  before letting out a tiny shriek and tossing it in the leader’s direction.  He picked it up and frowned at what he saw there.  Johnny leaned over and looked over it.  “Is that written in… blood?”  He asked, eyes flickering over to Sam to check on her response. 

Sam bit her lip and then went to respond, only to be interrupted by Milly’s distressed call.  

“Never mind what it’s written in… do you see what’s written on it?!”  That was enough.  Sam stepped forward to look.  Johnny tried to block her, and while she could appreciate his want to keep her ‘safe’ this was something she needed to see.  

Her stomach dropped at the words, her hands raised up to her mouth as if they could contain the gasp that escaped.  The message was indeed written in blood, smeared across the paper from where the paper had been folded up too hastily, as if the author was afraid someone would read it. 

“Don’t follow footballs.  Trap.”  

What was even worse than the message was the fact that she recognized that handwriting.  How could she not recognize it?  She’d spent hours in high school looking over Chris’ and her own notes, trying to piece together research they’d done on joint projects.  Chris’ handwriting was very methodical.  Neat, sharp, and precise.  Even this, this facsimile of a note had traces of that same neatness.  The precise loops and sharp slants were smudged and smeared, but it was recognizable all the same.  Chris had written that note, in blood, and then folded it up into a football… which was evidently a trap.  Or more specifically, bait for a trap.  

“My friend wrote this.”  She felt like her stomach had plummeted outside of her body and to the core of the Earth.  Chris had written a bloody message –oh god, whose blood was that—in a football that was designed to lure people into a trap.  Repeating the facts of the matter did not help.  On the contrary, it made the situation seem even worse.  Especially because the only things up here that would want to trap people were the Wendigos, and if Chris was with them, then why was he still alive?  How did Chris know about the traps?  Why hadn’t he been up here instead of the ‘footballs’?  There were so many more questions than answers with this reveal.  

She saw how the team leader was hesitant.  After all, this was the team that didn’t like staying on the mountain for more than a few hours at a time, and certainly did not want to go anywhere near the Mines.  Now, he was caught between a rock and hard place.  On one hand, he was supposed to rescue anyone stuck up here, ie: Chris/person who wrote the note/person who left the note—although Sam was positive that it wasn’t a person who left it.  On the other hand, he had a responsibility to the people on his team to bring them back alive.  

“What are the chances that it’s a prank?”  The question would have been a good one, if they weren’t on Mt. Washington.  With Chris, ordinarily, she’d say the chances were high.  Right now?  Knowing what she did about this place, yeah, no.  

She shook her head.  “Not very.”  She had some flares in her backpack.  Once Emily had heard about Chris being missing, she’d told Sam about the flares that the Stanger had given her and what she saw in the mines.  She wasn’t fond of the idea forming in her head, but if the team didn’t want to go in the mines to find Chris, that was fine.  She would.  She had promised Chris’ mother that she’d find him… and she was going to keep that promise.  

As she wasn’t formally part of the team, she was included on the mini team meeting that followed.  From what she understood, half the team wanted to try to press on and find Chris.  The other half wanted to turn tail and leave.  Johnny, bless his heart, wanted to help Sam out and find her friend.  He was a kind soul, very adventurous and super cute.  If she was in the market, she would have tried to pick him up.  As it were, she wasn’t in the market, and she wasn’t sure if she ever would be.  

Maybe once all of this was over.  Once she’d finished mourning Beth, and recovered from this nightmare.  Maybe then she’d give dating another try.  See if Johnny was willing to wait for that. However, now wasn’t the time to think about that.  Her friend was missing, and now, possibly alive.  Possibly even injured, since she couldn’t think of any other place Chris could get blood from.  

The team decided to finally search the mines.  They all had flares, so they should be able to at least escape the Wendigos, if this was indeed a trap set by them.  At least now they weren’t walking in blind.  They knew there was a trap, although no one was sure of what the trap was.  Sam had an idea, but she didn’t want to say it.  They already thought she was crazy.  Perhaps that was why the team leader kept looking back at her.  

She knew that he’d had the sense to radio this in.  However, she didn’t know the details of what had been said.  She supposed it didn’t matter as long as they found Chris and escaped this nightmare.  

Despite the warning, they followed the trail paper crafts.  Chris hadn’t just left them paper ‘footballs’ but ‘fortune tellers,’ and ‘airplanes’ as well.  She couldn’t stop the small fond smile at the fortune tellers, specifically when Johnny opened one up.  “Wow, the only fortune is ‘you’re dead’, what a cheery friend you have there, Sam.” That sounded like something so entirely Chris, she was even more convinced it was him who had left, or at least written, these messages.  The only question was how, and why.  

“This is it.”  She muttered, and wanted to turn tail and hide herself as an opening to the mines came into view.  She clenched her hand, and steeled herself.  She’d gone in here once before for Josh with only Mike as company.  If she could do that, then she could certainly enter the mines with a team of people to track down Chris.  

“Maybe we should camp out and go in there when there’s more daylight?”  Sam wanted to laugh at the suggestion from Milly.  Camp out, sure.  What a great idea, almost as great as knowing that you’re walking into a trap set by Wendigos.  She didn’t voice this, mostly because the team didn’t ‘believe’ in the Wendigos, although their behavior indicated otherwise.  

Thankfully, the team leader had some shred of common sense because he declined the idea and told them that they’d just be prolonging the inevitable.  There were tiny ‘footballs’ even inside the mine, and Sam felt her stomach rebel.  The warnings inside were the exact same as those outside, and she bit her lip, her instincts screaming at her to get out.  

They did a head count before they entered the cave, and had counted seven, including Sam.  Only ten minutes into the mines and quick head count revealed six.  Sam closed her eyes and inhaled and exhaled deeply, trying to recall her yoga lessons. 

Milly had probably seen something and wandered off without telling them.  She tried to tell herself, but really, what she was thinking was ‘oh fuck, we’re dead’.  She hadn’t even heard anything to indicate Milly’s disappearance.  No screeches, or claws on stone, just… silence.  It was eerie, and she felt like she was being watched.  She probably was.  

Team leader immediately cut his loses, and ordered for them to retreat, and the bad feeling in the pit of Sam’s stomach grew.  No.  They would be expecting that.  She’d seen how quick these things moved.  They’d know that they’d turn back.  Plus, she’d heard about Emily’s encounter down here.  She hadn’t really had a problem until she’d tried to _leave_ the mines.  

She held back watching as the team retreated, turning around a corner they’d only just passed by.  The first scream was enough to bring tears to her eyes, and she turned, fleeing away from the scene.  She could hear the others doing the same, and she knew, without a doubt, that at least someone was dead. 

She could hear the shrieking and screeching now, although it was behind her and steadily growing further away.  Oh god, the team was probably dead, or scattered about the mines, and she was going to die here.  Why had she thought this would be a good idea?  

“Oh sure, Sam, lets follow the paper trail that literally says it’s a trap and see what happens,” she muttered to herself as she moved.  

She wasn’t running through the mines, per say, but more of a very, very fast paced walk.  Still, when she heard the shriek coming from somewhere in front of her, she let out a curse word and ducked into the nearest wooden structure that would hide her.  She swore her heartbeat was racing as she heard the creature pass by her and for extra measure, she waited until she counted to a hundred before leaving.  

She continued the way she was going, seeing as the creature had been going the opposite way, towards the carnage of the team.  She didn’t even know where she was going at this point, she just knew that she needed to keep moving.  Unless one of them was staring at her, then she needed to stop.  Needed to be super still or wave a flare around.  

The mini cliff was not expected.  Nor was it wanted.  Still, she thought she handled sliding down it like a pro.  The screech that had sounded behind her, yeah, that she couldn’t handle.  “Fuck!”  Now she was running, and she turned the corner, and threw barrels and a flare back.  She could hear the Wendigo screech before finding a way around the fire and getting back on her trail.  

She turned another corner and part of her expected a Wendigo.  She did not expect Chris and nearly mowed him over.  “Chris!?  There’s a Wendigo behind us, we have to keep going, Chris!  Come on!”  The Screech was louder this time, and Chris furrowed his eyebrows and wasn’t fucking moving. 

“Sam?”  His voice was hoarse, and now that she was getting a look at him, he looked like shit.  It might have been the light of the tiny flashlight on her head, casting shadows, but he looked gaunt, and had streaks of what could have been dirt or blood across his face.  His clothes looked like a child had dressed him like they would a doll, mismatched, and was all torn and ripped up.  His eyes, still the same gray they’d always been were staring at her blankly, as if he wasn’t sure what he was seeing was real.  

“Now is not the time, Chris, we need to move now!”  She grabbed his arm, and tugged on it, only for him to physically recoil, a hiss of pain escaping his mouth.  Chris’ eyes widened and he finally looked at her like she was there.  “S-Sam?”  He repeated, and she nodded her head vigorously.  She saw Chris’ eyes dart to something behind her, and realization flash on his face.  

She could count on only two hands how many times she’d heard Chris curse, including this time as Chris muttered a low “Fuck.”  So the fact that he was cursing was not a good sign, not that she didn’t already know that.  This was it, they were both going to die.  Except Chris reached out with his left hand and yanked her towards him, and she could feel claws catching at her jacket, but it didn’t rip through her.  She was shoved back behind Chris and up against the stone wall of the tunnel.  

“Gollum, no!”  Chris took a step back, pressing her further into the wall, as the Wendigo screeched into Chris’ face.  Sam stood on her tippy toes, and looked over his shoulder, wondering why the hell the Wendigo hadn’t torn Chris apart yet, and what the hell Chris had called it.  

The Wendigo chittered at him, and she couldn’t see Chris’ response, but she could hear his voice.  She put her hand on his shoulder, and he hissed, and she pulled back.  Her hand felt wet and sticky, and she sniffed it, recoiling at the scent of iron and blood.  He shifted in a way that told her to stop and he took a deep breath before… talking… to the wendigo. 

“Yeah, go ahead and call for him again.  He didn’t come last time; he won’t come this time either.”  Sam’s jaw nearly dropped as the Wendigo literally whined at Chris’ words, and then backed away and looked down the mine tunnel before looking back at Chris.  Another Wendigo cry came from down the opposite tunnel, and she felt more than saw Chris wince.  “Actually, that wasn’t sarcasm.  Call for him again, will ya?”

The screech from the other end echoed down the tunnel and she saw Chris look around before seeing a small crack in the wall where Sam was certain she could fit, but not Chris.  He seemed to have seen it as well, because while still keeping her behind him, he maneuvered so that her back was to the crack, so that the Wendigo coming from the other end couldn’t get to her. 

“What about you?”  She hissed, and attempted to squeeze in further to allow Chris room, not that the crack would allow it. 

“Don’t worry about me.  I’m safe.” 

“Oh yeah, you certainly look like you’ve been safe.  You’re the picture perfect replica of what it looks like to be safe.” 

“Considering I’ve seen what most humans looks like within hours of entering this place?  Yeah, I’d say I do look like the perfect picture of safe.”  He pressed himself closer against the wall, blocking her sight and blocking her from sight.  “I told you, no, Gollum.”  She heard a hiss and some clicking before a… chirp?  “Doesn’t matter.  No is no is no.”

The screech she’d heard before resounded again, considerably closer.  “Fuck.”  That was never a good sound.  Well, she could officially say Chris had graduated to more than ten times cursing in front of her.  Not that she blamed him.  The next screech she heard was considerably louder, and she froze when she realized the Wendigo had to have been directly in front of Chris. 

“If you want her, you’ll have to tear through me, and I think we all know why that’s a bad idea.”  There were more chirps and hisses and clicks. 

Sam whimpered and pressed herself against Chris’ back, ignoring the sticky slimy feeling of blood, and the rotting smell of the mines that clung to him.  

A screech that was louder than all the rest thus far echoed though the mines, and she once again felt Chris wince.  The Wendigos in front of Chris let out a low whine. “No... no, he did not sound happy.”  Concern for her friend bubbled up within her.  

He was protecting her with his body, because the Wendigos couldn’t hurt him…. And he was talking to them.  TALKING to the blood thirsty, human-eating, monsters that had given them all hell.  Oh, she was going to be sick.  Deep breaths, Sammy, she told herself.  Just take deep breaths, and oh, the louder Wendigo was super close.  She could feel it in the stone when he screeched.  She heard the other Wendigos scatter, and heard the snarls of this new one.  Then Chris said three words that literally made her heart stop: “Hey there, Josh.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've set up a blog dedicated to this series where readers can post responses, comments, ask questions and even see some Art! You can find the blog at http://stargazingknight.tumblr.com/ . I'd like to add that my editor tries to post chibis. She doesn't always manage it, but she has a very busy schedule. So far she's done the entire Until Dawn Crew, plus Wendigo!Josh, Wendigo!Chris, and Wolfie (He's with Mike).
> 
> If you want to request a Chibi, you absolutely can! Just stop on by and send in an ask!


	10. Sam

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Previously on "Something I Need": Sam introduces a search and rescue team that has been searching for Chris. They find 'clues' left behind, little paper 'footballs' and 'fortune tellers' which have scribbled warnings written in blood on them. These warn them about going into the Mines, but they go in anyways. The team gets separated and Sam runs into Chris, and where upon, she faints.

Sam woke up in a tangle of animal furs with rotten flesh still attached.  She screamed and threw herself out of the decaying pile, trying her hardest not to get sick when she noticed torn bloody human clothes.   “Oh fuck!”  

She whimpered, crawling away from the pile.  Her eyes darted across the cave, taking in what she could in the low lit area.  Dead animal carcasses were in another heap, off to the side, and she gaged both at the sight and the smell.  She immediately looked to see if she still had her bag, and oh thank god she did.  She lit up a flare and threw it over to the darker side of the cave to see what was over there.  The flare rolled before stopping before another mound of furs.  

Considering the lack of shrieking and screeching, she assumed that there were no Wendigos in the immediate vicinity.  She bit her lip and tried to think of the last thing she could recall.  She’d ran into Chris and… oh god.  _“Hey there, Josh.”_   She couldn’t remember anything past that, so she must have fainted.  Not that she could blame herself.  That loud wendigo had been Josh, according to Chris and oh god, not Josh too.  Was Chris turning into a Wendigo himself?  Was that why they didn't hurt him?  

She shook her head.  No, she couldn’t think like that.  Cautiously, she crept closer to the other pile of furs.  These furs looked to be in considerably better condition. A miner’s hat was not too far from the furs, half full of water.  There were a few spots on the stone floor that could have been caused by blood, and she felt her stomach twist again.  Not too far from the hat was a stack of papers and some paper footballs.  This was where Chris had made the footballs then.  One mystery solved.  A shriek echoed though the cavern, and she looked up, picking up her flare and wishing that she could see what was above her.  

“You woke up quickly.”  She screamed, dropping the flare and spinning around to meet Chris’ eyes.  He was leaning against a small cavern opening.  Thanks to the light of the flare, she could see Chris better than last time.  She changed her original assessment of him looking like shit to him looking worse than shit.  There were bags under his eyes, and she didn’t even know where his glasses were, but there was a gash looking wound near his eyebrow that could have been caused by them.  He was holding his right arm awkwardly, and leaning against the stone with his left.  His pants were torn, and bloody; and that was the only sense in which they matched with his shirts and jacket.  There was blood all over him, on his clohes, smeared across his face and in his hair.  A lot of it seemed to be on his left shoulder, but she couldn’t see the cause of it.  Although even as far away as she was, she could see the goosebumps on his skin, under all the dirt, blood, and grime.  His hair was longer than she thought she’d ever seen it before, but she supposed this all made sense.  They hadn’t walked out of the mines looking like models last time either.  

“Oh god, Chris!”  He held up a hand to silence her, and using the wall as a guide, entered the cavern and almost literally collapsed onto the nicer nest of furs. He cursed, and she couldn’t decide if it was due to the pain caused by his back or his arm or both.  He reached out and drank out of the miner’s hat, and offered some to her.  She shook her head and tried not to whimper when another shriek echoed around them.  

“First things first, put the damn flare out.  It’s killing my eyes.”  She bit her lip and looked down at the flare she’d dropped.  

“Chris, we need,” She started only to be cut off by another loud shriek.  

“We need to put that damn thing out before they get annoyed with us and kill you where you stand.  So put the damn flare out.”  His tone left no room for arguments, so she picked back up the flare and ground it into the stone floor.  He let out a sigh of relief, and that nagging thought that he was turning into one of them resurfaced.  “Thank fuck.  Hopefully they’ll shut up now.”  The last bit was called out, like he wasn’t actually speaking to her but to something else lurking in the darkness.  A chattering sound responded, and she could barely see Chris roll his eyes in the darkness of the cavern.  

“Chris…”  She started and Chris held up his hand again.  

“Listen to me, Sam.  Everything will be okay, alright?  Josh’ll make sure that you aren’t killed.  I can’t do anything for the team you came in with.  Damn it, why didn’t you listen?”  

“I wasn’t going to leave you here!”  She cried out, and he regarded her with a level look.  

“But it’s fine to leave Josh?”  She opened her mouth, wanting to protest how that wasn’t what she meant.  “Don’t, Sam.  Just… don’t.”  He sighed.  “I thought I’d be so happy to see someone that wasn’t a Wendigo.”  He mumbled, and Sam wanted to ask what he’d meant by saying that he thought he _would be_ happy.  “Look, Sam.  Things are… different here.  Those are Wendigos out there.  They will not hesitate to tear you to shreds or eat you.  Don’t accept unidentified pieces of meat from them, don’t mention the F-I-R-E word, and don’t leave the fucking cave.  Seriously, for your sake, don’t leave the cave.”  

“What’ll happen?”  She regretted the question instantly, noting in the dim light how Chris’ expression immediately became closed off, and distant.  “Never mind.”  She didn’t want to know.  He opened his mouth, presumably to respond, when a loud shriek echoed through the cavern.  

That loud shriek from before, the shriek she now knew to come from Josh, echoed across the cavern.  A body descended from the sky, and they both stared at Milly’s body as it hit the ground.  Blood splattered out from her cracked skull, and her lifeless eyes were practically trained on Sam’s position.  

She gagged, her hands rising to her mouth and she honestly felt like she was going to be sick.  She closed her eyes and turned away, but the imagine of Milly’s lifeless eyes boring into her wouldn’t leave her.  

“Well.. that’s new.”  Chris commented dryly, and she honestly wanted to shake him.  A dead body of someone she knew just fell into the cave they were in, and he didn’t even flinch!  He acted like it was just a normal everyday occurrence, although his words bellied that.  “I am not eating that.”  Her mind had to repeat his words a few moments before the meaning sunk in.  

She couldn’t tear her eyes off of Milly’s body, but she wanted to spin around and hug Chris.  He hadn’t eaten human then?  Oh thank god.  She didn’t get a chance to do this since she heard the sound of something else dropping down, and she risked a glance just to see a Wendigo jump down after the body.  Her stomach twisted as he entered her field of vision, and her knees felt weak and she was going to be sick.  She just knew that this was it.  Her iron stomach wouldn’t be able to hold this back.  

She turned and vomited, falling down onto her knees and heaving onto the stone floor.  Bile spilled up and over her lips, snot running down from her nose and tears from her eyes, and she looked back up only to gag once again.  She closed her eyes, but instead of Milly’s dead body, she was greeted by the imprinted image of Josh.  

His eyes were wide and wild looking, the green almost faded to milky white.  He might have been slightly taller than before, but it was hard to tell with how hunched over he was.  His hands were normal enough, except for the tips of fingers tapering off into long claws.  It was his mouth that startled her the most.  One side had split open to help make room for the sharpened teeth.  She wanted to sob as she saw that he was still wearing those damn overalls from the prank.  

A growl echoed through the chamber and she winced.  She’d moved so suddenly there was no way that Josh didn’t know where she was.  She froze, crouching on the ground in front of her own vomit, eyes squeeze shut and hoping that she wouldn’t join Milly as Josh’s next meal.   

“He can still see you.”  Well, wasn’t Chris a cheery ray of sunlight?  She looked up, and wiped at her face.  She was careful not to look at Josh, or Milly’s body, as she shifted to see Chris.  

Chris, who was sitting in the pile of furs, almost looking bored.  He rolled his eyes at her, and shifted his gaze towards what was behind her, and raised an eyebrow as if saying ‘really’.  She risked the look, and regretted it as she found she couldn’t tear her gaze back away.  

Josh’s teeth gnashed and he tore off a piece of Milly’s arm and held it out in Chris’ direction, and she couldn’t help but to look at the now gaping claw mark in Milly’s body, the blood spilling out on the floor, and she felt like she was going to be sick again.  

“I am not eating that.”  Chris repeated at Josh, and she still couldn’t tear her eyes off of Josh and Milly but she could imagine the face that Chris was making.  Josh snapped in Chris’ direction, and heard Chris scoff in response.  “Fresh or not, I swear to god, Josh, if you even think about feeding that shit to us I will not forgive you.”  

“Then what have you been eating?”  The question came unbidden out of Sam’s mouth, and she regretted it when Josh’s stare became fixed on her.  He shrieked, and she heard Chris protest at him.  

“Dude, be nice to Sam.  Just give us a rabbit and go drag your body up onto the ledge and eat it… away from us.”  Well, she supposed that answered her question.  Josh was not happy with this response, as he shrieked at Chris again, and let out a growl before throwing the piece of Milly’s flesh in Chris’ direction.  “That’s gross, bro…. and I’m still not eating that.”  

“Chris?  What’ll be the chances that he’ll force us to eat that?”  Her voice trembled as she spoke, and she hated it.  Hated that she’d been reduced to this while Chris was all peachy keen and apathetic to all this.  

“I try not to think about that.  Instead, let’s think that we are NOT going to eat the human, because we are human ourselves, and that’s not cool, bro.”  Josh snarled at Chris and she heard him pick something up and then the arm was tossed back at Josh.  

“Chris… I think I may faint again.”  She warned.  This was too much, too fast.  Josh was a Wendigo, and Chris was talking with him, and Josh wanted them to eat Milly, and she didn’t want to eat Milly.  She didn’t even want to eat a rabbit!  

“I hope you realize that when you fainted the first time, I was not the one to take you here.  So if you faint again, I will not be the one to put your body in a nest.”  Was he saying that Josh had brought her to the cave?  Oh god.  He was.  That was totally what that had to mean.  

She fell from her crouch to her knees, all the stress finally catching up to her as a hysterical sob escaped her mouth.  She didn’t know how long she sat and sobbed before she realized Chris was next to her, and offering himself up for her to cry on him.  

“Shh, it’ll be alright, Sam.  Hush, Josh.”  She hiccupped and curled up into Chris, being as mindful of his arm as she could.  She could hear chattering and clicking and whining echo across the cave between her sobs, and knew that it was Josh making those noises.  She heard Josh huff before the sounds he’d been making were silenced.  Chris started rocking softly, humming an old pop song that he knew Sam had hated.

“You’re an ass.” 

“Pardon you, I’m an adorable ass.”  She choked on a giggle and took some deep breaths. 

“Is this going to be my life now?”  She paused.  “Are we going to die down here?”  

He hummed, and continued to rock her.  “We might.  But I don’t think so.  Josh has seemed pretty intent on keeping me alive so far.  There’s been a few hiccups, my fault mostly, but he’s made it clear to the others that I’m not to be eaten.  I’m sure he’s done the same for you, considering…”  He trailed off.  

“Considering?”  He jumped, like he hadn’t expected her to press on that, and she felt him shake his head.  Like he wished she hadn’t asked.  

“You haven’t noticed?  Josh has taken over Hannah’s spot.”  She flashed back to the prank, and how Hannah had torn the others apart.  “He’s like, the top wendigo.  The alpha or something.  As long as he doesn’t want us to be eaten, we won’t be.”  

“Will he make us eat Milly?”  Chris stilled for a moment before resuming the rocking.  He didn’t answer, and she felt another sob threaten to rise up out of her.  She wanted to yell at him, to tell him to stop humming and just answer her question, but she didn’t want to risk angering Josh, wherever he was. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've set up a blog dedicated to this series where readers can post responses, comments, ask questions and even see some Art! You can find the blog at http://stargazingknight.tumblr.com/ . I'd like to add that my editor tries to post chibis. She doesn't always manage it, but she has a very busy schedule. So far she's done the entire Until Dawn Crew, plus Wendigo!Josh, Wendigo!Chris, and Wolfie (He's with Mike).
> 
> If you want to request a Chibi, you absolutely can! Just stop on by and send in an ask!


	11. Josh

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Previously on "Something I Need": Sam woke up in a strange place. She finally got to meet Josh, who offered her and Chris some human meat, specifically that of a Search and Rescue team member. Sam was sickened by this, and how blasé Chris was with the fact that Josh had turned into a Wendigo.

Josh huffed as he bit into the newest meat.  He kept an eye and an ear trained on the couple below.  The female seemed to be calming down while Chris was humming ridiculously loud.  Was he attempting to purr to her?  He sucked at it.  The female asked if he was going to make them eat the meat, and at Chris’ silence, looked over the edge to see Chris looking up at him, a question on his face.  

He was tempted to.  It’d make Chris better, he was sure of it.  Sure Chris wouldn’t be happy with him for a few days, but, he’d grow out of that.  Although, Chris had said that he’d never forgive Josh if he did.  He huffed in annoyance.  

Given that Chris had said no multiple times and had thrown it back at him pretty much meant that Chris did not want this meat.  He’d let Chris win this battle for now.  Not only because Chris didn’t want the meat, but also because he was sure the female would be more annoying if he did decide to force the meat on them.  

He shook his head and let out a soft noise before returning to his meal, tearing into it as quietly as he could.  “No.  No, I don’t think he will.”  Chris answered her.  She let out a sob at his response, and Josh decided that he’d leave Chris to his new toy.  He was getting tired of hearing her cry.  

The mines were slowly heading back to normal daytime operations.  The humans had been secured, and the pack was tired.  They’d let the humans loose in the mines come night, and enjoy the hunt as their prey tried to escape.  Obviously they’d have to put the humans in the deepest areas, so that there weren’t any actual escapes, but the hope at the possibility would taste delicious.  Chris would be too busy with the female to join in on the hunt, which was a shame as it would have been a wonderful pack bonding experience.  Besides which, those stupid fire sticks were horrible and Chris would have been the best suited to deal with them.    

Satisfaction swelled up inside him along with pride when he recalled being called for by Gollum because of Chris again.  He’d been annoyed at the time because damn it, he told Chris to go back to the cave and stay.  But everything had worked out, and by the end, Josh figured he could keep the female as a reward for Chris’ behavior, if nothing else.  

Although, Josh had enjoyed when Chris had pleaded with him to save the female’s life.  The others told him that Chris was hiding a human, and then Chris was asking him not to kill her.  He’d been angry at Chris then too, but then Chris had whined, a sound so reminiscent of the others that his anger had briefly abated.  “You’re still my number one.”  He’d whispered to Josh, as he pressed against him, pushing his face into the crook of Josh’s neck and let out that pitiful whine.  “Please, let her live.”  His human had sounded so sad and broken, and it was evident in his scent which drenched the corridor from being so heavy.  

The others had backed off at his anger, and he was happy that they weren’t present to witness the moment, because it was a moment between him and Chris.  If keeping the girl alive would make Chris happy, then he’d do it.  This was the only allowance he’d give him though.  He wouldn’t do the same to any other human Chris chose to protect, and Chris had understood that.  

Oh, Chris had understood perfectly.  Satisfaction curled up in his gut, and he purred to himself, recalling certain events that had played out over the night.  Chris could have his human, for he had Chris.  He would _always_ have Chris, because Chris belonged to him.  She could take his attention away, and that’d be fine because Chris would come back to him.  

Of course, he still wasn’t happy about her.  She was an invader, and took Chris’ attention away from him.  She wasn’t pack, and he couldn’t understand why Chris needed more than pack.  Why Chris needed more than him.  Her scent had clung to Chris and it irritated him.  Irritated him that Chris had a scent that wasn’t his draped over him.  Especially since Chris was his, and so he’d marked him.  

Marked him in a way that wouldn’t fade like scent would.  A reminder to everyone that Chris was his. Chris’ wounded eyes and startled protests echoed in his mind.  But afterwards, when he’d let him go, Chris hadn’t shown any fear towards him.  Hadn’t been angry or scared, just resigned, and Josh was okay with that.  He was okay with that as long as Chris didn’t hate him… or try to leave him.   

When he returned to the nest, he’d growled at the girl.  Chris had managed to cox her into his nest, instead of the nest he’d left her in.  She was curled up beside him, using Chris’ lap as a pillow, and he nearly snarled because that was his spot.  

“Calm down, Josh.”  His eyes met Chris, who smiled at him.  “Wanna come be my pillow?  We’ve got a few more hours till moonrise, and I kind of want some sleep.”  Of course, he understood what Chris was really asking.  The only way he was going to sleep in the position he was in would be to lay down on the nest, and that’d put his back on the furs, and it was still so very tender.  

That wasn’t too ideal since Chris had reopened the wounds.  Josh let out a low keen, and circled around his human, already purring to put him at east.  He felt Chris tense as he rested a clawed hand on his uninjured shoulder, and dipped his head down to lick at the wounds.  Chris made a soft noise and arched his back away, but didn’t fight Josh or his actions.  He whimpered as he pressed his tongue flat against his back, and Josh’s purr increased in volume.  

It didn’t take long for him to clean Chris’ wounds back up.  He curled up around Chris, allowing the other to lean back against him and be comfortable without irritating the wounds.  When finished, Chris looked up at him, and very softly whispered “Thank you, Josh.”  He looked down at the girl and then at Chris and let out a soft trill before helping Chris to sleep with a soft purr.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've set up a blog dedicated to this series where readers can post responses, comments, ask questions and even see some Art! You can find the blog at http://stargazingknight.tumblr.com/ . I'd like to add that my editor tries to post chibis. She doesn't always manage it, but she has a very busy schedule. So far she's done the entire Until Dawn Crew, plus Wendigo!Josh, Wendigo!Chris, and Wolfie (He's with Mike).
> 
> If you want to request a Chibi, you absolutely can! Just stop on by and send in an ask!


	12. Chris

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Previously on "Something I Need": Josh explained a bit of what happened, and pouted about Sam's presence. He had a mini fight with her about who got to sleep with Chris, and sort of, kind of won. He cleaned up his human, and comforted him until they all fell asleep.

 

Chris wasn’t sure if having Sam around was a blessing or a curse.  On one hand, she was a wonderful companion.  Her sharp dry sense of humor hadn’t changed in the time – a week… it felt so much longer than that, according to Sam—that he’d been missing.  She was someone he could speak to who could actually fully understand his words, and speak in kind.  

On the other hand, her presence only re-enforced how messed up Chris was.  She spoke about his mother, who he honestly hadn’t even thought of, and how distraught she was.  She told him about how Emily returned to the group once she heard what happened, and how everyone was concerned about him.  What’s more, is that she drove hard the point of what staying in these mines was doing to him.  

It started when she pointed out that he didn’t even protest at the raw meat.  He’d just accepted the pieces of rabbit from Josh, and continued on with what he’d been doing.  Sam, on the other hand, she’d fought against Josh, finally hiding behind Chris as he explained that Sam didn’t eat meat at all.  When Josh had left, huffing in annoyance, she’d asked if that was all that he’d been eating since he fell down into the mines.  

“Well, it’s not like there’s much else to eat down here.”  He’d replied dryly.  Her offer of some tofu jerky in her bag was rejected, as Chris could feel his stomach twisting just thinking about it.   As a matter of fact, thinking of most food other than meat caused his stomach to twist.  Cooked meat didn’t even sound edible anymore, let alone jerky or any other meals that Sam brought up. 

If her pointing out his sudden taste for raw meat wasn’t enough, she’d pointed out to him small little differences in things he would say.  Words like ‘midnight’ appeared to have vanished from his vocabulary, and saying the words left an odd taste in his mouth.  ‘Mid-moon’ had replaced ‘midnight’, and ‘mid-sun’ had replaced ‘noon’.  Simple, small things that he had picked up from slowly coming to understand the Wendigos… a skill Sam had undoubtedly noticed that he had picked up.  

“We need to leave, Chris.  This place… does stuff to people.”  He pursed his lips and looked off to the side.  It looked like he was going to have to start cleaning the cave again…. Maybe if he put the animal carcasses closer to the ledge, Josh would stop leaving them around.  “Stop avoiding it, Chris.”  Her green hazel eyes glimmered in the faint moonlight from unshed tears and pure determination.  

“I… I can’t leave Josh, Sam.”  No, he knew that he couldn’t leave Josh.  Not again.  Never again.  The wound on his shoulder twinged, as if reminding him that he belonged to Josh, although he knew it was just coincidence that it hurt whenever Sam brought up leaving.  Besides, he’d already let his best friend down so many times… he didn’t think that he could do it again.  He shook his head, and was tempted, not for the first time, to plug in his ears and sing that he couldn’t hear her.  

“That thing is not Josh.  Not anymore!”  Her voice was a sharp snap, the retort so quick it must have been waiting on the very tip of her tongue.  He winced at her tone, and tried to ignore the miniscule voice saying that she was right that resided in his mind.  “I’m beginning to think that this place has already fucked with you.”  He had no response to that, seeing as he’d wondered the same thing at one point at another.  

Every night while Josh was away, it was the same conversation.  Any time Josh was away during the day, as rare as those times where, she was begging for him to leave with her.  To escape out to the outside world and never look back.  He didn’t understand why she couldn’t see why he couldn’t do that.  Sam was supposed to be the most emphatic of them all, so why couldn’t she just understand?  

Then again, perhaps she did understand, to some degree.  The first day she’d gone without bothering Chris about this, he’d regarded her suspiciously, just waiting for the fight that he knew was bound to come.  It never did.  One day turned into a couple, and a couple blurred into a week.  The only reason he knew of the amount of time passing was Sam’s tally marks in the wall closest to the moonlight shafts. 

Besides the tension being caused by her making Chris realize how feral he himself was becoming and the arguments over leaving, there was also tension between her and Josh.  He’d woken a few times to her shouting at the alpha Wendigo, worry and fear in her voice each time.  He tried to pretend that he didn’t notice that sometimes there were a more than one additional tallies on her wall when he woke up to that.  There was also a lot of fighting over who got to cuddle with him when they did go to sleep.  She wasn’t too comfortable with Josh, nor Josh with her.  So, the idea of letting Josh cuddle up to Chris was almost as big of a no-no to Sam as the idea of her cuddling with Chris was to Josh.  Honestly, Chris just wanted them to both shut up and get along. 

In any case, being woken by Sam mid-sun was not on his list of things he wanted to happen.  As a matter of fact, he flipped her off, and closed his eyes, only to reopen them as she continued to shake him.  “Don’t be like that!  I’m thirsty and besides the whole ‘don’t leave the cave nonsense’, I don’t know where the water is.” 

He yawned, and stretched out as best he could without bothering any of his injuries.  He knew the one on his shoulder would scar, and he was fairly certain the one on his back would as well.  It was more difficult to clean his wounds out now that Sam was around.  He just knew she’d freak out the moment Josh would try, and thankfully, he had limited his attempts to when they were both out of the cave, usually getting water for Sam, or when Sam was sleeping and they were both awake.  

The only consolidation that he had for the scars was that he would have an awesome scar with an awesome story – once he embellished it—to go along with it.  Sam had tried cleaning it up as best she could with the first aid in her back pack, but beyond that, she’d stare at it and worry the bottom of her lip.  He didn’t even try to tell her that Josh had been cleaning it for him.  

“Josh out?”  He asked, although the lack of screeching, chirps, trills, or any other noises told him that he was.  It wasn’t too unusual for Josh to be out during mid-sun lately.  He roamed the mines, making sure that no one left, and would come back to get a grab a few hours of sleep during morning and evening.  

“No, he’s glaring down at me from the ledge, and forcing me to have to wake you up instead of getting water for me so I won’t bother you.  Yes, he’s out!”  He quirked a smile at her sarcasm and shook his head.  He had actually missed that; given that he’d been dishing it out to creatures that wouldn’t return it.  

“Well, considering how many fights you two seem to get into…”  She rolled her eyes at him. 

“Trust me, Chris.  He wouldn’t spite me at the risk of me bothering you, specifically, waking you up.”  Something about her words made him mentally cringe, but he refused to think of what it could be.  It was too early to be up and thinking.  He yawned again, and shook his head to clear his thoughts. 

With Sam’s presence, he was actually able to stand up easier as long as he had her assistance.  He couldn’t express how relieved he was that he didn’t have to use the wall anytime he wanted to stand up anymore.  “Fine.  Help me up and we’ll go get some water.” 

He stepped outside of the cave, almost expecting the shriek from Gollum telling the others that he was out and about.  Instead eerie silence echoed down the shaft, and he was reminded of the first time he’d left without an escort.  His back twanged in pain at the memory.  

Water was to the left, so he started off in that direction, only to pause when he noticed Sam looking down towards the right.  “What’s down that way?” 

“Nothing.  The water is this way.”  He started to shuffle his way down towards where he knew the mill was, only to stop at Sam’s next question.  

“Well, how do you know there’s not any water closer to us this way?”  Because if there was, he was pretty sure Josh would have showed or told him.  Not that she would accept that as an answer.  

“Because the water is this way.” 

She ignored him and started down the other path, turning around a few steps later.  “Come on, Chris, where’s your sense of adventure?”  She teased.  He sighed, looking longingly in at the nest as he passed by the cave entrance to follow after her.  

“Asleep like the…”  Chris trailed off.  Asleep like the rest of the pack.  That was what he had been about to say.  He felt something cold settle in his stomach.  As much as he didn’t want to admit it, Sam had a point.  After all, when had he started thinking of the others—no, he was doing it again—the creatures as a pack?  

Not that he would tell Sam that she had a point.  After all she was like a bulldog in the sense that once she got her teeth into something, it was impossible to get her to let go.  Case in point being her immediately following up on him with: “Like the?” 

“Like the rest of me wants to be.” It was lame and stupid, but also the best his mind could think of at mid-sun when he’d been interrupted from his sleep. 

“Uh-huh.  Right.”  She replied, and continued on her way.  He heaved yet another sigh and followed after her.  It wouldn’t do to let her go and get herself killed after all the effort that went into keeping her alive.  He almost wanted to hit his head against the wall when within the next couple steps, Sam disappeared from view, a startled short scream escaping her as she vanished.  

In hindsight, letting Sam lead the way was a horrible idea.  However, Chris knew that she wouldn’t have accepted being lead anywhere.  Regardless, if Chris had been leading her, then first, they would’ve had water by now, and second, Sam wouldn’t have tumbled down that slope, and third, Chris wouldn’t have had to have slid down after her.  Last and most importantly, she wouldn’t have picked up the small wooden item that she’d landed near and shown it to him. 

He didn’t even hear her words as his eyes were drawn to the small wood carving.  Barely visible in the darkness of the mines, the shape of the hollow cut out combined with the darker wooden paneling was unmistakable.  It felt like he was falling backwards, or perhaps his stomach had just decided that it wanted to inhabit his chest for a while.  The world around him was fading, blurring and twisting at the same time, and he wondered if he could still throw up if his stomach was in his chest, because his surroundings were definitely making him motion sick.  

He fell down to his knees, and squeeze his eyes shut, hoping that would stop the visual hallucinations.  No luck for him, as everything continued to shift whether his eyes were open or shut.  He forced himself to breath as evenly as he could, and when he felt that his world was no longer shifting around him, only then did he dare look up.  

As if in slow motion, he watched as Mike spun around, bringing up a gun, only to have the creature knock the gun away, landing on top of Mike and pinning him to the ground.  The creature screeched in Mike’s face before plunging his claws into his throat and ripping his head clean off his body.  If Chris had been physically there, his face would have been hit with the spray of blood, and he gaged the at the sight, his stomach twisting and turning as it rebelled against this sight.  

The world warped around him again, twisting, blurring and pulsating as it returned to how it was.  He wasn’t on his knees, but his two feet, and he felt himself fall, felt the hard jarring impact of the floor against his knees and the even more jarring pain of his arm as he fell forward, putting his weight onto his arms as bile forced its way up and out of his mouth, spilling past his lips and onto the mine’s floor below.  He could hear screaming, and he closed his eyes, hoping that it wasn’t another of whatever he just saw because he didn’t think he could handle that.  His stomach certainly couldn’t.  

The pain shooting up his arm finally seemed to register with his body, because he fell.  His arm wasn’t able to support himself anymore, and the pain that registered from that was enough to cause all sound and vision to black out as more bile spilled from him. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've set up a blog dedicated to this series where readers can post responses, comments, ask questions and even see some Art! You can find the blog at http://stargazingknight.tumblr.com/ . I'd like to add that my editor tries to post chibis. She doesn't always manage it, but she has a very busy schedule. So far she's done the entire Until Dawn Crew, plus Wendigo!Josh, Wendigo!Chris, and Wolfie (He's with Mike).
> 
> If you want to request a Chibi, you absolutely can! Just stop on by and send in an ask!


	13. Chris

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Previously on "Something I Need": Chris thinks on his newest development of relationship with Sam-- that is, both of them being a Wendigo's pet... although at this point it's debatable if Chris is the pet or part of the pack. Sam wakes up Chris and they go exploring, despite Chris' desire not to. Chris finds a totem, and promptly has an interesting time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys. Sorry for being so late with the updates lately. I've been studying for exams at school... plus work, and some other stuff that has simply left me basically dead when I get home. 
> 
> Anyways, enough excuses. Here's chapter 13!

His mouth tasted like cotton, like he’d swallowed an entire desert and then shoved a few cotton balls into his mouth.  A soft, steady purr at his side told him that Josh was near, and attempting to sooth him.  He blinked himself awake, mentally filing away all the pain points as he slowly came to awareness.  

“Chris!  Oh thank god!”  Sam’s voice echoed around the cavern and bounced around his skull.  He groaned, and rolled over so he could sit up.  He let out a hiss of pain at the movements, but the sharp pain cleared some of the fog in his mind. 

“What happened?”  He remembered Sam wanting to go explore for water, and then they slid down an area in the mines, and… oh.  Evidently it didn’t matter if he saw butterflies in dreams or in real life, they all offered him stomach twisting visions of things to come.  He already knew that they weren’t guaranteed, after all, the one Wendigo that had killed him in his first vision was already dead.  Some of the others had come true though like the one with the male calling Sam’s name, and… the one he preferred not to think about.  

“...outing because I thought you were dying or something!  Josh came to investigate, and now he’s being all friendly with me, and it’s weird!  I should be asking YOU what happened!”  He kicked himself mentally when he realized that she’d been answering his question, but he supposed that he heard the important part anyways.  Still… probably best not to tell her that he was seeing ‘visions’.  

“I don’t know.  It’s been happening ever since I fell down into the mine.  I think I had a concussion or something.”  Josh was still purring, although it’d quietened when Sam had started speaking.  A soft chirp brought his attention back to Josh, who continued on with a few other noises before resuming purring.  He looked back to Sam, who looked torn between asking what Josh had ‘said’ and not wanting to know. 

“He basically said that you helped me, and knew to call out for him, so he doesn’t mind you… at least, not as much as he did.”  That was the basic gist of what Josh had said, which had actually been more along the lines of ‘I guess she isn’t useless after all, and if she’ll look after you, then I guess she’s fine.’.  

Sam did not look any more assured, but she nodded.  “I think you reopened your back wound….” He shrugged, wincing at the motion.  “And….”  She trailed off, but he knew she was referring to the bite on his shoulder.  She didn’t like to talk about that one much, the memory of Mike almost shooting Emily because of it still overwhelming, even to him sometimes.  

“What else is new?”  Josh chirped and moved away to bring back some cut up pieces of meat.  Chris’ eyes slid over to Sam, who despite looking green nodded her head.  

“I saw him kill and cut up the rabbit…”  She sounded equally as sick as she spoke.  He mentally shrugged, having learned from a few moments ago why not to physically shrug.  She’d get over it once she ran out of jerky and other supplies in her bag.  She’d offered a few things to him, but he’d turned it all down, knowing that it wouldn’t settle right until he could correct his diet in general.  

He nodded his appreciation, and offered a grin to Josh, who always seemed to perk up when Chris gifted him with expressions of happiness.  He let out a happy little trill, before leaving the meat and choosing curl up next to Chris as he ate.  Sam’s green face turned to the side, and she started trying to ‘tidy’ up the cavern as an excuse not to look, as she did anytime Chris or Josh were eating.  

“You should get more sleep, Chris.  I’m sorry I woke you earlier.”  Sam’s voice echoed over the cavern.  She was still not looking at him, but he supposed an apology was an apology.  It was more than he’d get out of others.  He nodded, and looked at the faint shaft of sunlight shining down into the cave.  It’d been day when they’d left, and there hadn’t been any fresh rabbit… so he must have been unconscious for about a whole 24 hours.  That explained why he felt so hungry and why his mouth felt so dry.  

Still, more sleep wouldn’t be argued against.  “That’s a good idea, Sam.”  He yawned, finally finishing his meal and flipping himself over so he wasn’t on his back and ruining more of the fur coats.  “Wake me up when Josh comes back from hunting tonight, kay?”  He heard her noise of acceptance, before he let himself be taken by the Jedi mind purrs to simple safe darkness.  

He woke to a soft curse.  Moonlight was softly shining into the cavern, and the curses almost sounded like they were coming from the mouth of the cave.  “…Sam?”  

“Yeah?”  She sounded strained, but for the most part okay.  She was probably still recovering from the events earlier… yesterday?  He couldn’t see the tally marks Sam liked to make from where he was, and frankly he didn’t care to.  

“Josh come back yet?”  His voice slurred as he spoke, his eyelids already threatening to dip back down and take him to blissful darkness.  

“… No…. No he hasn’t.”   He nodded, and yawned.  Moonlight meant it was night, so Josh was probably out hunting somewhere.  He’d be back soon.  He hoped it would be soon.  His stomach felt empty and the space beside him was cold.  As a matter of fact, he felt cold all over.  “Jesus, Chris…”  Sam’s hand was pressed against his forehead, and he wanted to melt into the warmth.  “You’re burning up!”  Well, that didn’t make any sense, he was freezing, not burning up. 

“No?  I’m actually kinda cold.”  He snuggled into the furs, and made a mental note to ask Josh to bring more rabbit furs as those were the softest.  Sam was talking to him, touching him in various places, specifically on his face and back.  Her voice had a tone that he didn’t like, but trying to understand her voice was difficult, like he was trying to hear her from underwater.  

The next time he woke it was to Josh shrieking.  Sam was lightly tapping his cheek and he frowned, noticing that she was considerably blurrier than she ought to be.  Cold liquid flowed into his mouth once she saw his eyes open, and he nearly choked before he started gulping it down.  Why was it so hot up in the mountains?  Had Sam asked Josh to get more rabbit skins? 

This was too many rabbit furs?  Everything felt like it was burning as it touched him, except for the water Sam was so generously helping him drink.  

Her lips were moving, but he couldn’t make out the words, just her voice straining against Josh’s shrieks.  Those he could understand, somewhat.  Whatever she was telling Josh, it wasn’t something happy.  He was screeching that eating meat would make it better, and that she wasn’t letting him fix Chris, or something.  He closed his eyes to try to process the words, just for a moment, and when he reopened them Sam’s face was so close to his. 

Her eyes were staring into his, and he could hear her speaking, but all he could focus on was her bright green hazel eyes.  At this distance, he could see the individual flecks of green and brown and gray that made up her eyes.  Huh, funny he’d never noticed how pretty they were before.  He couldn’t think of what color Ashley’s were either.  Josh’s used to be hunter green, but now they were more like watercolor paint green swirled with hunter green canvas paint.  

Why weren’t there any green butterflies?  If there were, what would they show him?  Something lucky?  No, that was white.  If red was danger, then maybe green could be love, since he loved the color green.  Wait.  Maybe there had been green butterflies, but then he ate them all, because he was certain he felt butterflies in his stomach when he looked into some people’s eyes.  Especially green eyes, which is why the butterflies were green!  

He wanted to explain to Sam what he’d discovered, but his mouth felt like cotton and by the time he’d opened his mouth the thought was gone, whisked away like the possibilities of the future on the wings of a butterfly.  Maybe green butterflies were the ones that took things away?  

Would he dream of this moment?  Had he dreamed of this moment?  Was he dreaming right now?  How did that poem by Poe go again… “Is all that we see or seem but a dream within a dream?”  His words were heavy in his mouth, but he’d said them, and he was so happy that he had.  

Pain echoed in his head, and he dropped his head down so his chin met his chest.  He closed his eyes, and wished he could remember what he wanted to say.  ‘Hang on, Chris’ echoed around his mind, and he wanted to know what he was supposed to hang onto.  He got the impression that they were moving, but the background behind Sam had remained a steady greyish white when he’d been looking up.  

It was with sudden clarity that he realized he was leaning against something and while he could feel pressure on his back, he didn’t feel any pain.  Perhaps he’d just become accustomed to the pain?  

The world came to a jarring halt, and his head fell backwards with the force of it.  Sam was cursing, he recognized that tone.  He wanted to get up, to go over and see what was going on, but his limbs felt so heavy, and the peaceful darkness behind his eyelids was so nice and calm.  It wouldn’t hurt to just stay right where he was at. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've set up a blog dedicated to this series where readers can post responses, comments, ask questions and even see some Art! You can find the blog at http://stargazingknight.tumblr.com/ . I'd like to add that my editor tries to post chibis. She doesn't always manage it, but she has a very busy schedule. So far she's done the entire Until Dawn Crew, plus Wendigo!Josh, Wendigo!Chris, and Wolfie (He's with Mike).
> 
> If you want to request a Chibi, you absolutely can! Just stop on by and send in an ask!


	14. Chris

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Previously on "Something I Need": Chris was seriously out of it, and he doesn't know what happened in the last chapter. Don't worry, some will be explained here.

A steady beeping noise welcomed him back to consciousness.  There were other noises, but the beeping is the one that gathered the most of his attention.  Neither he nor Sam had any phones… so where was the beeping coming from.  Not to mention it felt much warmer than usual in the cave, and he wasn’t sure when the nest began to feel like a bed, but that was probably another thing he’d have to keep from Sam.  Someone was sobbing nearby, and he wondered why Sam was crying this time.  Had Josh been mean to her again?  

Actually opening his eyes was a bit of a struggle, but when he finally did, he instantly closed them with a sharp hiss.  The sobbing cut off, and he jumped as hands touched him.  Too many hands.  Not Sam’s hands.  The light was too bright, not just light, sun light.  Too many hands, beeping devices, phantom sobbing.  Like a puzzle piece clicking into place, everything made sense and he hated it.  

He wanted to scream.  Scream until his vocal cords gave out and then keep on screaming.  He wanted those blinds to be shut, and for the damn beeping to shut up.  He wanted to throw something, to ask Sam what was going on and how he ended up in a hospital.  Most importantly, to find out where Josh was.  She hadn’t left him in the mines again, had she?  She probably did.  She didn’t think it was Josh.  She thought he was gone, but he knew better. 

Someone was talking to him but it wasn’t Sam, so he didn’t want to hear them.  Hands were still touching him and he felt the sudden impulse to snarl at them, push them away and snap at them until they left him alone.  Someone opened his eye and shined a light into it, and he couldn’t stop himself, lashing out and snarling at them to “Get that fucking light out of my face”.  There were raised voices, and people were still touching him, although now they were applying pressure, and then in one shining moment, they all stopped.  

“You’ve all overwhelming him!  I told you all not to do that.  He’d been down in some mines for a month, let the poor boy adjust to light again before you go shining it in his eyes.”  Hands were still on him, but they weren’t moving, weren’t doing anything.  “Chris, I need you to stay calm.  You’re at Claresholm General Hospital in Claresholm, Alberta.  I need you to nod if you can hear and understand me.”  

Slowly he nodded, and he heard the click of a pen before some scratches.  “Wonderful, I am Dr. Frye.  Now, are you going to hurt anyone here if we don’t restrain you?”  He heard one of the owners of the hands touching him scoff, although if it was at him shaking his head or the question, Chris couldn’t tell.  The hands retreated, and he gave a tiny sigh of relief.  “The chief of police would like to speak with you.  Given that you’ve only just woken up, I’ll tell him that you can’t have a visitor yet, unless you want to get this over with?”  

Doctor Frye’s voice was soothing, in a way.  Very calm, even though he was sure she wasn’t given the fact she wouldn’t go near him.  He liked that she let him think and didn’t force him to open up his eyes or force his decisions.  “Carla, could you please shut the blinds and turn off the lights?  That way when he does decide to risk looking around we don’t blind him.”  He heard footsteps as the orders were obeyed, and he felt like he could finally marginally relax.  Or at the very least open his eyes. 

From what he could see in the now darkened room, it was a standard private hospital room.  Part of him wondered how his mother could afford a private hospital room.  Doctor Frye stood too far away for him to properly make out how she looked.  From a few feet away and further, everything was blurry, which was to be expected given his glasses were probably still in the mines.  Where Josh was.  The thought hit him like a train and all of the anger that had been ebbing out of him hit him full force.  

He’d left Josh… again.  He had left Josh in those mines again.  Left him to fend for himself, and continue with the transformation.  He was such a failure of a friend.  No.  He’d gone back for Josh.  Sam had failed him and Josh.  She’d taken him and ran.  How had they escaped the mines?  Why hadn’t Gollum or Josh or any of the others stopped them?  …Had Josh willingly let them go?  The idea hurt and he wasn’t quite sure why. 

“Chris?”  The soft calling of his name jerked him back to reality.  Right.  The doctor needed to know something.  Oh wait, if he was willing to talk to the chief of police.  Well, he supposed he had no choice.  At least if he spoke right now, they could consider some of the more outlandish things as being due to the fever, or medications or something.  He nodded and he heard the scribble of the pen as she jolted something down.  “Alright, just a few questions we’ll need to go through first.  Is that alright?”  He nodded again, and tried to focus on her, so that his mind wouldn’t go back to the mines and what was left there.  

“Alright.  Could you tell me the date, approximately what you think it is?”  

“I don’t know.”  He heard a few sighs of relief from the people around him.  He was purposely trying to ignore them.  Ignore how close they were and ignore the fact that they’d all been touching him.  When was the last time he’d been touched by someone other than Sam, Josh, or one of the others in the pack?  

“Chris?”  He looked up to the doctor, or where she would be if he could actually see.  “Do you have an idea of how much time has passed?” 

“I don’t know.”  Sam had said a week… but he couldn’t claim not to know anything if he knew that.  The police hadn’t believed him last time; they wouldn’t believe him this time.  So he just wouldn’t tell them.  Although, if he did tell them that some of the search team was possibly alive in the mines… then they’d have to go down there to find them.  Then they might find Josh.  But that’d mean telling about what happened down there.  

Doctor Frye sighed, as she finished scribbling.  “I’ll go get the chief.”  She headed for the door, and Chris spotted her movements through the blur of his vision.  The sharp click of her heels reminded him of the clicking of the others down in the mines.  

A few moments later she returned, a mildly heavyset male and a thinner male entering behind her.  The questions they asked were similar to those asked by the doctor, and Chris’ responses identical.  Most of the questions asked were answered with ‘I don’t know’ or ‘I don’t recall’.  A few he was able to answer, like ‘why were you up there.’  Finally, content as they were going to get, they left.  

Doctor Frye entered his view, finally, and sat down across from him, where the cops had been siting momentarily.  She had long dark hair which looked to have been braided and pulled up into a bun with a few loose strands falling out.  A pair of thin silver glasses were perched delicately on her small pointed nose.  Her smile was a bit too wide, but Chris supposed that there was nothing wrong with that.  

His stomach growled, and but he ignored it.  He had all the practice in the world ignoring that.  Although anytime Josh had heard it, he’d brought him meat.  He clenched his hands and tried to focus on Doctor Frye and not on the hunger gnawing at his stomach, the memory of thick red blood and raw meat and the sensation of it between his teeth, thick on his tongue and swallowing it down.  

Doctor Frye smiled apologetically at him.  “Until we think you can handle solid foods; we’ve got you on a liquid diet.  It’ll be coming soon; in the meantime, we can go over some of your reasons for being here as well as go over some paperwork.  Due to your age, I need you to consent for me to share information about your health to your mother.  Do you want your mother to be kept informed about your health?”  He nodded, thankful that she’d started talking so he could distract himself from his hunger.  She pulled out some forms, and a handed him her pen.  “I’ll need you to sign here,” she pointed to a spot, “and here,” she pointed to another spot further down on the page.  “Did you want to me to go get her for you?”  

Signing papers felt surreal.  It felt false.  Like a far off dream he’d never believed he would have to return to.  Like it was a remnant of a time long past.  He shook his head, to clear those thoughts away, and then decided to use that as his answer to her question. 

“Later… I… I don’t want to see her, right now.”  

“I see.  Well then, you have a spiral fracture in your right forearm.  It’s been mending, although it appears that the fracture has been forced to reoccur a few times which will make your bone on that arm weaker and more susceptible to fractures in the future.  You also have a deficiency in a few different vitamins, so we’ll need to get you on a nutrient supplement plan as well as get you with a nutrient specialist to have meals plans created for you.  The most worrying of your injuries was that wound on your back.  When the ambulance brought you in, you were delirious from fever due to the wound becoming infected.  Your friend had told us that you’d been unconscious for a few days.”  

The information overload didn’t stop there.  Doctor Frye kept speaking, and really, his head was spinning enough as it is.  As if sensing his confusion, Doctor Frye paused and gave him a small smile.  “Long story short, you’ve been through an ordeal, but that’s just it.  You’ve gotten through it.”  But Josh hadn’t.  Josh was still somewhere up there on that mountain, without him. 

Josh, who’d been his best friend since third grade.  They’d practically been connected at the hip in the past, and he’d left him, again.  Had left Josh in that cave, after giving him the hope that Chris would stay.  After he’d promised himself that he wouldn’t be leaving Josh again.  

A knock on the door prevented Chris from further traveling on that train, and Doctor Frye answered the door to reveal an orderly, carrying a tray with some food for him.  His stomach twisted at the sight of the broth, wanting to have nothing more than meat instead.  “I’m good.”  Doctor Frye’s glasses flashed in the light spilling in from the hallway, and he thought he saw her eyes narrow marginally but it must have been a trick of the light.  

“I understand it can be a disorienting to be back in society; and I can’t imagine what you must have gone through in order to survive, but Chris, you’ve made it.”  She held up the tray.  “And this is one of the first steps to recovery.”  He frowned, ever so slightly before nodding.  

“Alright, sure.”  She smiled at him again, and gave him the tray before heading back towards the door.  

“I’ll need to go speak with your mother about some treatments and medications.  When I come back, I’ll be expecting at least a quarter of that gone.”  He looked down at the broth and nodded.  She gave him one last look before closing the door behind her.  He put the tray off to the side, and curled up, ignoring the faint echo of pain that echoed from his back and shoulder as he did so, wrapping his arms around his knees and resting his chin on top of them.  He swallowed thickly, and found that although his body had been taken from the mines, his mind was still trapped there. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was it folks. I hope you've enjoyed this portion of the ride. I'm not sure when I'll have the next part up. Most likely in a few weeks. Between moving, three exams due in school, a new job, and a new kitten... I'm pretty tied up but I'll be trying my best. :) Keep in contact with the blog, Ghost should still be adding stuff, and I'll post any updates on there. :)


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